


A Nice Cup of Tea

by chaenyoo



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, San is a babie, Yeosang curses a lot, YunWoo superior
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2020-05-12 09:56:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 23,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19226791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaenyoo/pseuds/chaenyoo
Summary: San is a photography major.That one time he only slept for an hour and went to have a nice cup of tea, he meets the prettiest man ever whose name is Seonghwa and he commits a rather big emotional error.





	1. Chapter 1

It was a rather stressful day in the art department. Preliminaries. Art plates, here and there. Some are big ones, like literally, being mural paintings and such.

San briskly climbed up the stairs. There were elevators available but there were a lot of other art students who just didn’t bother working their legs up in the morning. Besides, he had to pass a plate at exactly 8 am and it was already 7:56. He doesn’t want to wait in the long line even if he just had an hour of sleep. He couldn’t risk his preliminary grade.

When he got to the room of his first class, his classmates are going a bit livelier than usual, in a negative way that is. One is fixing his photobook which wasn’t minded properly, another one or two were crying for whatever reason then a group on one side were just loudly competing with each other who got the least sleep. They were instructed to just drop their preliminary plate, which was a photobook, on the professor’s table and they could already go afterwards so he was a bit confused as to why his classmates are still there.

“Hey San,” one of the guys from the large group called him, “did you sleep?”

He paused for a bit, “For an hour, yeah?” He realised he doesn’t even remember the guy’s name.

“Damn, you’re basically a zombie now.” The group laughed but each shouted some words of encouragement to San but his mind was just not functioning too well to react to them.

He let out a deep sigh as soon as he put down his work on the table. He definitely needs a nice cup of warm tea.

 

San went down to head over to a cafe. There’s Starbucks near his building but he’s way too broke after spending so much in his major. He decided to go to the broke art student-friendly cafe that was outside of his university. It’ll take him a bit of a short walk but it’s what he can only afford at the moment. Plus he always goes there anyway.  
When he got there, a few other students sat distantly from each other— probably wanting some peace and quiet in a hectic week. San went straight to the counter.

 

“One medium green tea with milk. Hot not iced if you don’t want me to hit someone.” He took out an exact amount for his drink. “It’s not a good morning at all Yunho so don’t.”

The seagreen-haired working student laughed, “Were you able to pass the photobook?”

“Fortunately yeah,” San smiled a little “grumpy because I’ve had only an hour of sleep.”

“More plates to do?” Yunho took San’s payment then proceeded to make his order.

“I have about four more to be passed on Friday. All of them, on freaking Friday. I’ve finished two of them though.” San took a bit of pride on finishing two plates despite being sleep-deprived because of them. In times like this, he felt the need of believing in himself.

“I see.” Yunho answered without looking away from the tea he was making for his friend, “Good luck with the other two. And please get some sleep, you look like shit.” He covered the cup and handed it to San.

“I always look like shit, what are you talking about?” San cringed.

“Nah, you’re one beautiful tiny beast when you have had your beauty sleep.” The taller one gave him a wink and grinned.

San chuckled, “Right, cheesy seaweed head.” He turned around after Yunho flashed him the dirty finger and found himself a table. Finally, some relaxation.

 

As minutes passed, some few students came in. Thankfully, none of them are the annoyingly loud ones. He could hear them talk not because they’re being loud but because the place was a bit small. He didn’t mind though, it was just a soft kind of noise.

 

He was starting to doze off when someone tapped on his shoulder.

“Hey,” The stranger had a deep yet soothing voice, “do you mind if I sit with you?”

San looked at the person. It was a guy with blond hair and an unusually big eyes. Then he turned his gaze around to see that the place was actually already full.

“Yeah sure, go ahead.” He gave out a smile to the stranger.

“Thank you.” The guy is clearly well-mannered, carrying the chair out from under the table instead of just dragging it that it could have created a harsh sound.

San didn’t mean to but he kind of ‘examined’ the person sitting in front of him. His eyes are really unusually big, not extravagantly but it’s big like he’s a cartoon character or something. He was wearing a maroon turtle-neck shirt topped by a black leather jacket and then black skinny jeans with a pair of leather platform shoes. He looked nothing like the ones he sees in his classes. Compared to himself as well, who is simply wearing a black shirt, denim jeans and his old pair of Vans. The only thing that made him feel a little better about his outfit is the fact that he had managed to tuck his shirt in neatly.

“I’m San.” He doesn’t know why but he did introduce himself. Stupidly.

The latter looked at him with an obvious surprise in his eyes, “Seonghwa.” He smiled anyways.

He couldn’t help but notice how good looking Seonghwa is— even becoming more good looking with his friendly smile.

“Are you like, a student in KQ University?” San tried to not stumble on his words. “Or are you just some random well-dressed guy who happened to wake up early and wanted some coffee?”

Seonghwa let out a little laugh that almost made San’s heart skip a beat. “I’m a student, major’s architecture. How about you?”

“Photography.” San was making little nods. He doesn’t know anyone from the Architecture department but he has seen a lot of them since the buildings for his and Seonghwa’s department were practically next to each other. It explains a lot because for some reason, Architecture students mostly have a good sense of fashion,

“Oh, that’s cool.” Seonghwa smiled a little more this time “I have a few friends from the art department but it’s my first time meeting someone who majors in photography.”

San is thinking of how he could continue the conversation but the only response he had in mind was an ‘Ah I see’. Much to his surprise though, his new acquaintance continued on.

“What pulled you into photography?” He asked as he took a sip of his coffee.

San straightened up on his chair before answering. “Uh, well. At first, it was just a little hobby of mine. And then I started joining photography contests when I was in high school. Many of my teachers and classmates kept complimenting me and encouraging me to take up Photography.”

“Have you won in any?” Seonghwa really sounded like he was testing him for something.

“At times, yeah.” He answered pretending he wasn’t a bit bothered. “I only got gold twice though, most of them are silver.”

“You got gold twice! Don’t say only. That’s already a good achievement.” Seonghwa had a soft yet proud look on his face. “Having your teachers and classmates encourage you is something to be grateful for.”

“I thanked them actually when I got in.” He quickly responded.

“That’s kind of you.” Seonghwa grinned. His smile was mesmerising, almost as if San forgot that smiles are normal and that it’s his first time seeing someone do it. It made him feel lost, a good kind of lost. He’s lost in a world so exceptionally beautiful that if he could afford to stay, he’ll do so.

“San?” A voice brought him back to reality.

“Yeah?” He answered frantically after realising he’s been staring at Seonghwa.

“You okay?” The blond had a worried look on his face. “Perhaps you didn’t sleep well?”

San just shook his head slightly as he slouched in embarrassment. He smiled to somehow lessen how tensed he’s becoming.

“You should go and get some sleep today.” Seonghwa took his empty cup and fixed his bag on his shoulder. “And I should get going since I’m already late for my next class.” He quietly stood up, still had his attention to San.

“Ah!” San abruptly stood up, feeling guilty, “Sorry I kept you busy.”

“It’s not your fault, San.” The latter patted the shorter male’s head. “Best morning so far.” He then took off.

San followed Seonghwa with his gaze, not noticing he was still standing up. Best morning? More like best day though.

 

“He hasn’t been in the cafe, at least not whenever I’m on duty.”

“Uh, who?” San had his eyebrows furrowed, turning to Yunho who was putting on his barista uniform.

“Good lord, Satan.” Yunho paused. “I just made a slight oxymoron there but don’t ‘uh, who’ me dumbass.”

”It’s not like I’m expecting to meet him again, Seaweed.” San turned his gaze off his 6 foot-tall of a best friend. “I mean I’ve been looking for him but-“

“You have committed an emotional error there sir.” Yunho let out a big laugh.

“Just shut up and go.” San couldn’t help but laugh as well. It’s a bit stupid of him to be denying it.

“Yeah, don’t forget you’ll be starting tonight at the cafe.” The taller boy walked up to the door of their room. “I’ll message you if I see your pretty blond boy.”

“You better.” He waved Yunho goodbye as the other exited with a big smile. He then let himself fall onto his bed.

“Damn it, I miss Seonghwa.” He said under his breath.

 

San went on with his classes, still thinking of the possibility of seeing the prettiest man he has ever met. It’s been two weeks. He’s been waiting for two weeks. He sometimes wished he could just randomly bump into Seonghwa or he accidentally finds his social media account. In fact, San’s been searching on numerous social media sites. He thinks Seonghwa’s name is rare enough to easily find him but he was wrong— none of the searches have the pretty boy’s picture in it or any kind of hint that it could be him.  
And he has applied to work in the same cafe Yunho’s working at because of Seonghwa. Well, also because he needed more funds for his expensive major. He didn’t get the same schedule as his best buddy but at least there’s a slight chance the guy would drop by at that time.  
Maybe he could go over the architecture department to look for him. It would be weird though, asking strangers if they know someone named Seonghwa. He might as well hide under a rock after he does it.

 

Hours passed, it’s time for San to start his first night in the cafe. He’s assigned the night shift since unlike Yunho, he’s only free at night. His giant friend was lucky enough to have a schedule that didn’t include a 7 am class.

The night shift, as he didn’t expect, was busier. The small cafe is filled with students, eyes on their laptops, sketchbooks. It was full but San was lucky enough that the students there respected silence.  
When he wasn’t taking orders, he just sat at the counter either doodling all over his mini sketchpad or taking pictures of the coffee machines and coffee beans using his mirrorless camera. 

San can’t deny that he’s expecting Seonghwa but he knew this had a really low chance. Well, as they say “Expect the unexpected.” Maybe he should start living by that from now on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> San calls Yunho 'Seaweed' because of his seagreen hair while Yunho calls him 'Satan' because of his black hair with red streaks.
> 
> Also, please excuse my writing. I haven't been writing for years so I'm RUSTY.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgot to note that a 'plate' is equivalent to an 'art project'. In case, it was confusing in the first chapter.

There it is. It’s written all over the board. Another dyad plate to do. 

San doesn’t hate dyad plates. He likes them a lot because he gets to socialise while working. Yet the thing is, the people in this class were just not his type. They laze around so much, they would tend to talk more than work. The last time they had it, San ended up doing more than half the work while his partner slept. It’s a perspective class and includes drawing in different perspectives. San loves drawing in perspectives but no one seems to feel the same way he does.

As soon as the instructor said they could form their own pair, San scanned the room and he saw them all standing up or raising their hands gesturing to their friends. Maybe if he could just find a slightly decent classmate, he’d be fine.

 

While he was observing people, San felt a slight tap on his shoulder. He slowly turned his head to see who it is.

“I assume you don’t have a partner yet, yeah?” The male had a curly faded pink hair that as somehow similar to the shade of his birthmark near his left eye. He went over and took the seat beside San.

He hasn’t seen this person before, or at least noticed. But he thought, why not make a new friend?

“I was trying to find someone.” San awkwardly smiled. “I’m San.”

“Yeosang,” The other had his hand out, seeming to go for a handshake. San took it. “You seem like a diligent one.”

“You think?” This made San feel flattered. 

“I’ve always noticed your works because they’re amazing.” Yeosang had a reassuring tone in his voice. “Love perspective?”

“Oh thanks.” San couldn’t help but smile widely to the compliment. He rarely receives compliments when it comes to his drawings. “Yeah, I love perspective.”

“Most of the people here don’t appreciate the subject and their works are fucking ugly.” Yeosang emphasised the cuss word and this left San in awe. The guy was already comfortable enough to swear in front of someone he just met? Interesting. “And they have the audacity to complain about their scores? They should be thankful the instructor hasn’t given them failing remarks.” 

San chuckled. “I thought I was the only one who’s bothered with how much they complained.”

“Man, I’ve always had this urge of roasting them but I’m constantly reminding myself to just care less.” Yeosang puffed his cheeks and pouted a little in dismay. “Anyhow, photography’s your major right? Mine’s animation.”

“Yeah. How come you seem to know me while it’s my first time seeing you?” San had to say it. He doesn’t remember ever talking to Yeosang before so he’s pretty sure he has now way of knowing.

“Because I’m observant and you’re, how do I say it—“ Yeosang looked away for a second, presumably to think. “You’re dense.”

“Sorry?” San narrowed his eyes. “Dense?”

“Oh, you really are.” The pink-haired male sat up straight and placed his left leg over the other. “People call you Sanshine.” 

San just stares at Yeosang, waiting for a possibly interesting explanation for an unexpectedly cute nickname. It’s far from what Yunho gave him.

“You and I share five classes together and in all those classes, you’re liked by everyone. You have this enthusiastic and friendly aura.” Yeosang held his hand up and started counting using his fingers. “You’re one of the most talented among the freshmen, you have a smile that brightens up the mood— the girls specifically find your dimples adorable.”

San definitely is not aware of anything Yeosang just mentioned.

“Do you want me to continue? There’s more.” Yeosang smirked. “Oh and, I know all these because I always take the seat behind you.”

“Uh, maybe next time. I don’t think my heart can take it anymore.” San had his hand placed over his chest, to feel how his heartbeats were going fast. He is probably smiling from ear to ear.

“Bold of you to assume I’m willing to make you feel flattered again next time.” Yeosang laughed as San’s face immediately became sullen. “Do you know any place we could talk in peace? It’s getting a bit noisy here.”

San glanced over to realise that the instructor already left and their classmates were just going loud and all.

“Do you want to drink something while we plan for our plate?”

 

It’s a good morning, the sky is filled with fluffy clouds that almost looked like they’re cotton candy. San enjoyed days like this the most. He could see the beauty the university had. He actually chose KQ University for its pretty surroundings. It’s always good to take photographs whichever corner you go to.

 

He and Yeosang decided to go to the usual cafe he goes to. It’s only 8:30 in the morning so Yunho is probably still on duty. Today seems like a good day to have a nice, cold drink.

“Iced please.” San happily said to Yunho who was also sporting a friendly smile on his face.

“You’re just gonna order ice?” Yeosang had a judging look.

Yunho laughed at the comment. “Don’t worry. This guy only orders medium green tea with milk. He just has to tell me if he wants it hot or cold.”

Yeosang shifted his gaze on Yunho. “You know him?” He pointed at San.

“We’re best buddies since high school.” Yunho replied as he took the money off San’s hand. “What’s your order fluffy head?”

Yeosang was about to open his mouth, surely for a snarky comeback but San lightly pushed his elbow against him.

“Don’t mind the nickname, just order.” San whispered.

“You know, it’s a good thing I’m quite terrified of giants.” Yeosang whispered back, causing San to laugh. 

“Large iced latte.” Yeosang forcibly brought out a smile.

 

They sat down near the counter. It seems like it’s been a busy morning for Yunho since all the places were taken.

“I’ve actually heard about this place.” Yeosang said as he put his things on their table.

San turned to his partner. “Really?”

“My brother told me it’s a good cafe where you meet great people.” Yeosang rolled his eyes. “Yeah, he says weird things often.”

“That’s honestly a lovely way of describing such a small cafe.” San didn’t think it was weird at all. To tell the truth, he appreciated how the mentioned brother described it.

“It’s going to be a huge headache if you two meet each other. Him being a subtle asshole and you being dense. Your conversations will go nowhere.” Yeosang frowned upon imagining the possible situation.

“That makes me want to meet him more though.” San laughed.

 

San went to his 10:30 am class after his long talk with Yeosang— about the plate and some other things. He found out about the other reasons people liked him for, he found out how Yeosang could get so savage but is extremely soft towards cats. Sadly, they don’t have the next class together but they’ll meet up again at 3 in afternoon to begin with their plate. San’s shift at the cafe is not until 8 pm and he thinks that’s ample time to complete it. 

His class ended at 2:30 pm. San rushed out because he’s getting too hungry. He still has half an hour before he meets up with Yeosang so he’s going to take it easy for now.

He bought his food, stayed on one of the stone benches outside his department’s building. There are a lot of people walking around and it was fun to watch them. San thought he could take motion blurs at the moment so he took out his camera. He takes several pictures and is satisfied when he checks them. He tries to take a few more then something caught his eye. Someone. 

San spotted a familiar blond haired guy, wearing a blue shirt that was unbuttoned up to his chest level. He was intently looking at his phone and almost bumped into a girl. The male turned around so San had a clear view of his face.

It’s Seonghwa.   
None other than the prettiest man he has ever met. Seonghwa was just standing there, looking like he’s a model of some sort. In amusement, San didn’t hesitate to snap a picture of the guy. 

San could walk up to him. He should be able to. Seonghwa knows him, it’s not like it’s going to be weird to say hi. It’s been two weeks, now the guy he likes is just there, in front of him.

He spotted Seonghwa looking around. San slowly raised his hand. It’s now or never. When his hand was high enough to notice from afar, he started waving— his eyes fixed on Seonghwa. To his surprise, Seonghwa suddenly smiled and waved back. He saw him.

Seonghwa began walking towards him. Holy shit, indeed. 

“Hey!” He was greeted by Seonghwa’s beautiful smile. “Haven’t seen you for a week or so.”

“Two weeks.” San looked up at the taller male, eyes widened as if he’s seeing a shiny treasure.

“You took note of that? Cute.” Seonghwa patted San’s head. It felt like deja vu. The blond sat down, a tad closer than expected. San liked it though.

“How have you been?” Seonghwa’s voice is deep, relaxingly deep. 

“Been busy but I’m getting enough rest.” San softly grinned. “You?”

“Been busy as well. Real busy. I have math this semester, it was easy at first but after preliminaries, it began killing my brain.” Seonghwa ranted. “I just need a passing grade for this, I’m not even aiming for a 4 anymore.”

“I know you can do it! I believe in you.” San happily gave Seonghwa two thumbs up. “Isn’t math for architecture taken in the later years though?”

Seonghwa paused and stared at him for moment, his lips gradually turning into a smile then eventually started laughing. “San, I’m a sophomore.” 

San’s mouth formed a little ‘o’. All this time, he was crushing on someone who’s older. All this damn time! It’s not like it’s bad he had a crush on a higher year. He was just used to liking someone on the same year he was.

“Are you that surprised?” The older is still smiling sweetly at San and this made him feel ‘things’

“I assumed wrongly.” San laughed at his own stupidity. 

Seonghwa laughed with him. “It’s fine. I’m flattered that you thought I’m young.” 

“You say that like you’re a senior! You’re older for just one year.” San exclaimed. 

“Why? Do you prefer younger?” Seonghwa smirked.

San is beginning to panic inside. “What? Younger? What do you even me—“

Seonghwa laughed a little loudly that some people glanced over to their direction. “Older then?”

San felt his cheeks go hot all of a sudden. His face is probably so red right now, it would match his hair. “I-it doesn’t matter…”

The older’s expression turned soft upon hearing his answer. “That’s good then.” 

There was silence between them after the panicky situation. San was almost out of breath and his hands are ice cold. His hands had a thing of going cold whenever he gets too excited or nervous over something and that was the most nerve-wrecking situation he’s been in years.

The wind suddenly blows, making the scene look like it came out of a drama. It’s nice, sitting near Seonghwa. Waiting for two weeks was worth it, he thought. 

“I’ve started working in that cafe. I took on the night shift.” San said in a low voice.

“Oh?” Seonghwa immediately responds, like he was actually waiting for San to speak. 

San looked directly at Seonghwa. “I need extra money.”

Seonghwa quietly nodded, an assuring one. It seemed like he knew of his situation and understood it through San’s tone of voice. “Do your best.” 

“Will do.” San answered so softly as if he was almost whispering.

For some reason, they stared at each other. It isn’t awkward or anything— it’s kind of like they ran out of words to say but still wanted to communicate in a way. San’s mind has gone blank. He isn’t sure what he should do. Should he look away or should he do something else? Seonghwa’s gaze must really be something since it made him froze on the spot.

“So, should I just leave you two until you swallow each other up or what?” A familiar voice said in disgust.

“Yeosang, watch your words.” Seonghwa averted his gaze from San then stood up. He proceeded to give the pink-haired a huge hug then gave him a pat on the head.

“Wha—Yeosang?” San tilted his head.

“Yes it’s me, Yeosang. Aren’t we supposed to go and work on our plate?” Yeosang stood firmly, arms crossed over his chest. “It’s already 3:15 pm. My professor dismissed us late, sorry.”

“Ah.” San couldn’t reply more than that. He hasn’t registered into his system the fact that Seonghwa gave his partner a hug and a pat on the head.

“I didn’t know you two knew each other.” Seonghwa consecutively pointed at the two younger males. “Anyway, here are the things you asked.” He handed small pouch to Yeosang. “I’ll be going now. See you guys around.”

San went on his feet and waved goodbye to the blond. When Seonghwa was out of sight, he quickly turned to Yeosang who seemed rather expressionless. His partner noticed him looking and gestured for them to start walking.  
It’s silent for the first few minutes. San isn’t sure if it’s an awkward silence or if Yeosang just didn’t want to talk at all so he also didn’t speak.

“About that-“ Yeosang suddenly talks.

“Hm?” For some reason, San’s voice trembled a little. 

Yeosang stopped walking. “Seonghwa. Do you like him?” His face is still blank. 

“What? No, I—“ San had his head down a bit but his eyes still on his partner. “I don’t—“

“Disgusting.” The pink-haired scowled. This made San step backward. “Tasteless. I expected more from you.” 

“What do you mean?” He followed Yeosang as he started walking again.

“You like my brother? Lame.” 

At this point, San got more confused than ever. “Brother? Seonghwa is your brother?”

“Brother? Yes. Seonghwa is my brother? Yes. He’s my weird older brother and you ended up liking that? Yuck.” Yeosang displayed such disgusted expression on his face that it looked funny to San. “Don’t fucking tell me cute shit about him if you don’t want me to hit you with this pouch.”

San watched Yeosang walk a few more steps and just, sighed in relief.


	3. Chapter 3

“Can you believe that? It’s such a cute coincidence! My plate partner turns out to be the brother of the guy I like.” San happily bounces on his bed. “I still can’t process it.”

“Fluffy head and hot blond are brothers, noted.” Yunho says as he types some sort of essay. “You’ve been telling me that since last night love.”

“Sorry, I just can’t get over it.” The shorter male hasn’t stopped bouncing on his bed.

“Fate must be on your side.”

“Fate, huh?” San was smiling so hard, his eyes disappeared into two lines.

“Fate, San, don’t you believe in fate?” Yunho glanced at his best friend then took a sip of his coffee. 

“It’s not that I don’t believe in fate.” San answered. “If I say it’s fate, it feels like I’m expecting something good will come out as a result. And I don’t want to expect anything.”

“True though. Sometimes the lesser you expect, the greater the outcome.” Yunho nodded several times.

“Wait, aren’t you supposed to be getting ready for work?” San asked.

“Nah, I’ll be off this morning since I have tons of things to do. I came in last night during your shift to talk to the manager, remember?” The taller one explained. “Never mind, you probably don’t remember because hot blond’s smile is stuck in your head.”

“Hey! I remember it well.” San pouted. “But yeah, Seonghwa’s smile is stuck in my head.”

“Satan’s hella whipped.” Yunho moved his hands like he was putting whipped cream on a drink. 

“Yes I am.” San confidently claimed. There was no point in denying. He likes Seonghwa, a lot and that’s something to be proud of. Why wouldn’t he be proud of liking someone like him? He’s easily one of the most good looking in the university. At least, for him though.

“San, I have to tell you something.” Yunho spoke after minutes of silence.

San excitedly went over Yunho’s bed and sat there. “Yeah? What is it?

“The guy I’ve been telling you about for the past months. I’ve been talking to him for weeks, right? Even hanging out sometimes. We’ve been messaging back and forth too, non-stop.” The seagreen haired stopped typing and faced San.

San looks at Yunho with a thrilled expression on his face.

“He asked me out.” 

“Holy shit, what’d you say?!” San jumped up from the bed.

“I said I’ll think about it.” Yunho reached for his mug but the smaller male stopped his hand midway.

“Yunho, what’s his name?” San asked without moving his hand from his best friend’s.

“Wooyoung.” Yunho answered in a soft voice.

“Do you like him?” San continued on.

The latter paused for a second, breathing heavily before answering, “A lot.” 

“Then there’s nothing to think about.” San sat down again, took Yunho’s phone and handed it over to him. “Message Wooyoung right here, right now.”

“What? Right now?!” Yunho hesitantly grabbed his phone. “He’s in class!”

“Just text him. He could reply later anyway.” San waived off what his best friend said.

“No, he will definitely reply immediately. But the thing is, everyone will know! He’s so loud for fuck’s sake.” Yunho’s voice had a panicky tone to it. “He’ll just be teased about it again.”

“He definitely won’t mind being teased if he’s gonna have you as his boyfriend.” San wriggled his eyebrows. He could see Yunho’s cheeks turning pink in the heat of the moment. 

San watched Yunho type in something on his phone, after opening it on what it seems to be a chat box. He saw a tiny bit of hesitation but he couldn’t help but smile when his best friend pressed the send button.

“Sent. Are you happy now, Satan?” Yunho showed him what he messaged Wooyoung. San smiled at how sweet the guy’s messages were to his best friend and he surely didn’t expect that the name of the contact would be ‘Woo’ with heart emojis.

A minute later, Yunho’s phone started buzzing. When he checked it, San saw the transition of the latter’s nervous face to the brightest grin he has ever made. He could feel Yunho’s happiness from where he’s sitting.

Yunho received a call from Wooyoung not long after. San could hear the joy in his voice and this made him feel soft— he’s happy for Yunho and he wishes him all the happiness in the world. 

 

 

San’s day went smoothly. Fortunately, he had three classes with Yeosang so he didn’t feel so bored. He finds it odd that Yeosang told him everybody likes him but no one ever sits beside him or asks if he would want to have lunch with them. Then again, San immediately goes out of the room whenever a class ends and he’s all about studying and work. He’s thankful enough to have Yunho with him. He can’t risk anything— since he’s a scholar and he has to maintain good grades. He ends up concentrating so much on his academics that, as a naturally sociable person, he actually forgets to socialise.

As soon as his last class ended, San directly went to the cafe he works part-time in. They got dismissed at 6:45 pm and his shift starts at 7 pm.  
He got there after 7 minutes of running, going to the cafe normally takes him 10 minutes but he obviously had to hurry up. San immediately walked into the staff room, logged in and changed his clothes. He’s the only one working tonight because the girl who took the night shift like him was on sick leave. 

San went out of the staff room, with a big smile on his face. The guy who handles the earlier shift gives him a high five and goes in the room to log off. He then faces a short line of students who are, gratefully, all in joyous moods. It’s Friday today so most of the people are probably ecstatic.  
No one else is coming in so San took this time to clean the counters. He spilled a little milk when he was making a caramel latte minutes ago.

The chimes made a little sound, indicating someone went in the shop. San didn’t look though, he just continued wiping off whatever dirty spot he sees.

“Good evening.”

The voice is all-too-familiar. San stores the cloth he’s been cleaning things with and goes to the counter.

“Good eve-“ He froze.

Seonghwa beamed as he stood in front of San. 

“Hi.” San shyly greeted back.

The older leaned a little closer. “Can I have… y..?” His voice was too soft at the end that it became inaudible.

San squinted upon not hearing what he said “Sorry?”

“Iced americano.” Seonghwa stood up straight with a suspicious smirk on his face. “Medium.” 

“Anything else?” San asks while he keys in the order. “Here or take away?” 

Seonghwa went over to the pastry display for a moment and returns to the counter. “I’ll have an oatmeal cookie and a red velvet one. Oh and, I’ll have it here.” He hands the smaller male his payment. 

“Okay.” San smiled at Seonghwa, enough that his dimples popped out. He noticed that the older look quite flustered but he simply shrugged it off. “Here’s your change. I’ll just bring your order to you so just sit tight and relax.” He immediately turned around to work on the order. If he looks at Seonghwa any longer than that, his heart might just burst.

San goes over to Seonghwa’s table, who seemed to be working on something because of a couple of sketchpads.

“Here you go.” San gently puts down the plates and the cup of iced Americano.

Seonghwa glanced up to him with a sweet smile. “Thank you.”

“If you need anything, I’ll be right behind the counter.” He’s about to turn around when Seonghwa held his arm all of a sudden.

“You end at 10, right?” The blond asked.

San nods. He returns to his place and leaves Seonghwa to work on what looked like a plate. 

His shift continued on as usual, people going in and out. It’s a quiet yet lovely night. San kept looking towards Seonghwa’s direction. The sophomore had a serious expression all throughout the evening. San wonders if he had always worked on his plates here in this very cafe. If he knew that, he would’ve checked the place during the nighttime for the two weeks he wasn’t able to see the blond. 

The owner, a middle-aged woman, comes out, taps on San’s shoulder and gives him a small smile. There’s only five minutes left before the cafe closes.  
The cafe was almost empty, a couple of girls were the only ones left and Seonghwa, who’s already packing up. 

San goes in the staff room to change and get his things. When he went out, he only sees the owner.

“I’ll be going ahead.” He bows.

“You did a good job tonight.” The woman smiles at him. “Go get some rest now.” 

He flashes her a smile too and says thank you in a soft voice.

When he got out, the night breeze blows hard on his face. It’s a bit cold tonight. There were still a lot of people out so it wasn’t that dead of a night. San turns to the direction of the university dormitories. He didn’t exactly want to go back there yet but he had nothing else to do.

“San!” 

He scans his surrounding, only to see Seonghwa standing on the side of the walkway, waving. 

“You’re still here? It’s late.” San walks up to him, hands inside his pockets because it’s getting even colder.

Seonghwa smiled at him. “Yeah, I kind of.. waited for you.”

San grinned back. “Why?”

“I thought I’ll treat you to a late dinner. You haven’t eaten yet, yeah?” Seonghwa nonchalantly said.

For a moment, it felt like San’s world stopped. The older’s words echoed in his mind, causing him to space out a little. 

“You’re going to treat me—” He had to maintain his composure. Not here, not now. “—to dinner?”

“Yes, you heard it right.” Seonghwa nods and points somewhere. “There’s a 24-hour food place in that direction. But if you have anything else to do, it’s fi—“

“Nah, I’m actually starving so I’ll take you up on that.” San made a little skip to get a headstart. He gestures to the blond to start moving.

They were walking a bit slow but San isn’t opposed to it. Of course he wanted to spend time with Seonghwa. For all he knows, he might not see him again for another two weeks or even a month so he wants to make the most out of this night. 

He didn’t expect this to happen and that makes the moment even more ‘special’.

“San, may I ask you something?” Seonghwa breaks the silence.

“Go ahead.” He continued walking without looking at the other. San felt like he was grinning too hard that it would be weird to the blond.

“It’s fine if you don’t answer since we’re not that close yet.” Seonghwa said and it made the shorter one glance up to him, with a change of expression. “What are the small things that make you happy?”

San paused, the question made him think. There are a lot of small things that makes him happy and he could go on all night. It’s a bit unusual that Seonghwa asked it but he’s also happy that he did.

“A good scenery.” San starts. “A bright blue sky with fluffy clouds.”

“The perfect amount of milk in my green tea, warm hugs, listening to jazz music.”

He notices that the older male kept on nodding as he enumerated things. San makes a quick smile at him and continues.

“Getting the perfect angle in a photo, matte photo prints, oversized sweaters, clean lineart.” He faces Seonghwa. “There are a lot more but I want you to tell me some of yours too.”

“Anything that’s clean and spotless makes me happy.” The blond chuckles, probably a little embarrassed of his answer.

“That’s it?” San responded with a snarky tone but eventually laughs. 

“Seeing people smile and laugh.” Seonghwa’s expression turned into a gentle one. His tone of voice sounded so genuine and sincere when he said it.

“We’re here.” The taller one stopped. They arrived in front of a well-lighted place that had a big neon ’24’ by the glass door. San could see the people inside, the place is not full but it’s not near empty either. 

When they went in, they immediately got a table. Seonghwa also gestured for the waitress. He seemed like he’s already prepared to order.

“Do you want me to surprise you with the food or do you want to choose?” Seonghwa tapped on San’s hand to get his attention.

“I like surprises.” He answered as he lightly bounced on his seat.

When the waitress comes up to them, Seonghwa simply says ‘Set B’. San’s having the urge to check what the mentioned set comprises but he told the other that he likes surprises. If he checked, it would seem like he didn’t mean it.

“Are you a regular here?” He asked, to stray away from the idea of looking at the menu.

“I’ve gone here a lot, often alone.” The blond raised his eyebrows. 

“Oh, have gone on a date here before?” San smirked, trying to tease the other.

Seonghwa crossed his arms against his chest. “Dates.”

“What? How many past relationships have you had?” San’s eyes widened.

“Wha- Two but I’ve only brought one here. Can’t I bring someone to the same place multiple times?” Seonghwa exclaimed. This made San snort.

“Right, right.” He nodded as he tried suppressing his laughter.

Seonghwa narrowed his eyes. “How about you?” 

“Does it look like I’ve dated anyone before?” San pointed at himself.

“Why? You’re cute plus you have a bright aura and a wonderful personality.” The blond explained. “Are the people around you tasteless?”

“I—“ San realised he described him so positively. His hands automatically went cold due to the sweet remark. “You sounded like your brother for a second but yeah, thank you, I guess.”

“Yeosang and I are a bit too honest sometimes, I’m sorry in advance.” Seonghwa laughed. “Seriously though, why wouldn’t anyone date you? Were there people who confessed about liking you though?”

“Uh, there were a few.” San averted his gaze in embarrassment. "There was an almost, actually but nope."

“Ah, you’re the one who has high standards. I get it. I get it.” Seonghwa rolled his eyes. 

“For the record, I have fair standards. I just don’t want to start dating someone before liking them, that’s called experimenting. My feelings has to be established before starting something with them.” San defended himself. The older male just stared at him, with a gradual half smile forming on his lips. 

Seconds later, their food arrives. Set B turns out to be a plate of cheesy chicken wings, spicy kimchi stew and some side dishes. And surprising enough, these were San’s favourites.

They spent about an hour in the food place, talking about their majors, some personal things and random stuff. San wished it could go on forever.  
When they finished, Seonghwa insisted to bring San back to his dormitories. His excuse was that as he’s older, he should take care of a freshman. San didn’t complain, he loves the idea of being with the guy he likes.

It wasn’t long when they arrived by the dormitories. They’ve spent 30-minutes on the streets, even if it should’ve been just a 15-minute walk. San and Seonghwa kept their conversations up, causing the extra minutes of travel.

“Thank you again, for treating me.” San said as he stood by the entrance of his dorm. “I’ve had a fun night.”

“You’re welcome.” Seonghwa smiled widely. “Glad you had fun.” 

They stood there, the silence surrounding them. The cold wind blows heavily but for some reason, San didn’t shiver upon feeling it.

“Go and have your beauty sleep now.” The older said.

“Yeah, I guess I’ll see you around?” San said but a little doubt dawned on him. “Take care on your way back.” 

“Will do, thanks.” Seonghwa gave a small nod to give assurance.

San didn’t want to move yet but that’ll be too questionable so he took small steps towards the entrance instead. When he was about to go inside, he heard Seonghwa calling his name so he immediately turned around.

He suddenly felt warmth surrounding his body. It felt like he’s protected from everything bad that existed in the world. There were little pats on his back before the warmth slowly faded. 

“See you.” Seonghwa whispered. He then jogged his way from the dorm until he couldn’t be seen anymore.

San stood there, frozen. His legs were shaking, his hands went so cold even if they’re inside his pockets. He breathed heavily, flushed cheeks, trying to stay calm.

 

It’s definitely the warmest hug he’s ever had.


	4. Chapter 4

"Good morning!” San jolts up from bed. He woke up exactly at 8 am.

“Jesus,” Yunho had his hand on his chest, surprised from the sudden shout of his roommate. “Good morning to you too.”

“Do you have anything planned today Yunhoho?” The small male makes his bed and puts on his favourite purple hoodie. It was a cold morning. 

“I’ll have lunch with Wooyoung.” Yunho answers as he leaned on his study table and sips from his cup of coffee. “I bought one for your energetic ass too.” He points at the medium drink he has set on the other’s table. 

“Oh, thank you.” San rushed to the drink. “I haven’t met Wooyoung yet, now that I think of it.” 

“He’s going here later.” Yunho checks his phone. “He insisted on picking me up.” He rolls his eyes to the cheesy act of the mentioned guy.

“He sounds like a really sweet guy.” San says, with evident approval.

“He is. You’ll probably like him, Wooyoung’s as loud as you and as sociable as you as well.” Yunho made a little smile. “He already likes you to be honest.”

“You tell him about me? Aw.” San pouted, puppy eyes on. 

“He thought you were my boyfriend because your contact name’s Baby San.” Yunho chuckles. San snorts at the reaction of his best friend.

“So, what happened last night? You went home later than usual. I was already sleeping.” Yunho puts down his empty cup and sats down on his chair, facing the red-haired.

San smiles. “Seonghwa treated me to a late dinner.” 

“He was in the cafe?! Or did he purposely go there when it was closing time?! Did he send a message? Does he even have your number?” Yunho flooded him with questions, a tone of great excitement in his voice.

“He went it at around 30 minutes after my shift started, worked on a plate there and when I thought he already went ahead, he was actually waiting outside.” San made a half smile causing one of his dimples to pop out. 

“Wow..” Yunho stops in awe. “Seonghwa waited for you.” 

San takes a deep breath and nods a couple of times.

“He surely moves fast.” Yunho states. “San, you’re really something.”

“Moves fast?” The smaller male tilted his head in confusion. His remark made Yunho frown at him.

“Are you telling me— never mind.” The other waived. 

San was still confused. “What? What do you mean by that Yunho?”

“Nothing San. Just try not to get too overwhelmed when the time comes.” His best friend stands up and gets his laptop. He comes back to his chair but with his back turned from San.

“When the time comes? I’m so confused.” San mumbles to himself.

 

“Hi!” A dark-haired male greeted the two of them by the entrance of the dormitory. “San, right?” He pointed at the red-haired.

“And you must be Wooyoung.” San holds his hand up for a handshake but instead, the guy goes in for a quick embrace. He was a bit surprised but he did like the friendly gesture.

“It’s nice to finally meet you” Wooyoung grinned, turning to Yunho. “I’ve always wanted to meet San.”

“Yes, I know.” Yunho plants a kiss on the shorter male’s cheek and slightly messes up his hair.

San cringed. “Yikes, not in front of me please.” He laughs eventually.

Yunho flashes him the dirty finger but Wooyoung instinctively grabbed his hand to hide it. “You know, you could come with us.” Wooyoung adds.

“No, you two enjoy your little lunch date.” San gives him a thumbs up. “I’ll be fine.”

Yunho looks at him observingly before speaking up. “Alright.” He nudges on the dark-haired. “I guess we’ll be going ahead.” 

“Let’s hang out sometime San!” Wooyoung shouts as Yunho pulled him away. “I hope you’ll have a wonderful day today!”

San waves bye to them happily. 

“He is… loud.” 

 

San heads over to the busy streets, to check out some art stores. He needed to list down the prices of the things he’ll soon need so that he could set a budget in advance. He decided to avoid asking his parents for extra money so he has to mainly survive with what he’ll earn from the cafe. It’s not like his parents have a lot to ask for such anyway.

San takes his time going around, enjoying the bright sky and the cold winds. He buys a handy lunch so he didn’t have to stop from exploring.

After minutes of walking, he spots a rather large and prestigious-looking art store. It was along a lesser busier street which he’s aware hasn’t gone to. The establishment’s three-storeys high and this amazed San so he didn’t take any second thoughts to come in. The interior of the building isn’t less beautiful than the entrance, it was well-ventilated and was extremely organised. He begins walking around, looking at every product in such amusement. San sees that the store had a digital section, a sign pointing up to the second level. He went there, with the urge of blurting out ‘holy shit’ as he saw complete sets of drawing tablets, cameras, and even some other branded gadgets. San walks around excitedly. 

He only pauses when he caught a glimpse of two familiar faces on the far left corner of the floor. They seemed to be arguing over something but he went up to them anyway.

“Hey!” San greeted, beaming.

The pink-haired and the blond turned around the same time. “San!” The two say in unison.

“What are you two arguing about?” He places his hands on each of there siblings’ shoulder. “Drawing tablet?” 

“This bitch here keeps on insisting me to get this one but I want to get that.” Yeosang consecutively points at two tablets.

“I can’t help you with that, I know a little to no shit about drawing tablets.” San simply shrugs. 

“Oh,” Yeosang looks at him from head to toe. “Off you go then.” 

Seonghwa hits Yeosang hard on the back, causing the younger one to screech. He mouths ’sorry about that’ to San. 

“What’s the difference between those two anyway?” San continues.

“Nothing significantly important, just their prices.” Seonghwa answers him with a blank face.

“Are you for real?” San had his eyebrows furrowed. “Just the prices?”

“Excuse me, it’s the colour we’re talking about here.” Yeosang said with a hint of annoyance. San realises that the other one’s grey and the other had a touch of red. 

“For fuck’s sake Yeo, just choose whatever.” Seonghwa angrily looks away from his brother who made a funny face to mock him. “He’s spoiled.” He softly said to San.

San just laughs. “I find it adorable though.” The older male made a confused smile but nodded anyway.

“Are you going to buy something? Seonghwa asks while scanning the floor with eyes. 

San shakes his head. “Was just looking around, checking the prices.” 

Seonghwa looks at him, he obviously had a thought in mind but remained silent for the next few seconds. Yeosang turns to them.

“I chose the red one.” He sticks his tongue out, directed to his older brother.

“I’d pull that out more if we weren’t in public.” Seonghwa said in a remarkably low voice. It was the lowest San has ever heard him speak in.

Yeosang had a disgusted expression. “Yuck, you’re going to touch my tongue?” 

Seonghwa simply sighed in dismay. “Are you still gonna walk around?” He asks San.

“Uh,” San pauses. “What’s on the third floor?”

“Books and a work area.” Yeosang answers. “Kind of your place, really. You two should go on a date here.” He glances at both the two taller males in front of him before walking ahead.

San turns his head to Seonghwa, whose cheeks were slightly pink. He thought it was cute.

 

The three of them went out of the establishment together. San didn’t expect it but he’s happy, he’s happy that he bumped into the brothers. 

“What do you guys want to do?” Seonghwa asked as they got out.

“Can we watch a movie or something? I’m bored. ” Yeosang raises his hand up. “You up for it?” He looked at San.

“I’m not really into movies.” San answers with a smile. “Thank you though.”  
He is into movies, the reason he declined was it isn’t in his budget list.

For some reason, Yeosang and Seonghwa looked at each other then looked at him at the same time. 

Seonghwa had his eyes on him. “Our treat, San.”

“What? No—“ San shakes his head. “I can’t take another offer from you—“

“From him? I’ll pay then.” Yeosang abruptly commented. “I haven’t treated you to anything so you have no right to decline.” 

Seonghwa chuckles at his brother’s stubbornness. San is getting shy at this point. He doesn’t know what’s up with these two— why they keep on treating him nicely even if they’ve only met recently.

They went to the movie house and Yeosang bought three tickets to a new horror movie and also bought popcorn. When they got in, their seating arrangement wasn’t what San expected. Yeosang sat on leftmost seat, Seonghwa chose the one on the right. He was left with the middle seat. 

The movie started slow, slow but it kept San nervously anticipating on his seat. It feels like there would be something coming out at anytime and this somehow was thrilling for him. The people in the cinema are quiet but the silence is definitely deafening, uneasy even. 

Then there it was, the moment that made most of the audience’s heart leap. Some shrieked and some cursed. San absolutely got surprised, his hands on his chest to feel the rushing heartbeats. He looked at Yeosang and much to what he thought, was just calmly eating his popcorn. Then he turned to Seonghwa. The older male was covering his face, sitting way too low on his seat.

“Seonghwa?” San whispered. 

“Yeah?” Seonghwa answered, without removing his hands. “As much as I’d hate for you to find out like this but I don’t handle horror movies well.” He whispered back. 

This made San smile. He didn’t think the older would be as cute as a kid. “Did Yeosang choose a horror movie on purpose?” 

“He’s evil San.” Seonghwa’s voice was trembling a little.

San stared at the blond, giving all his attention to him. He didn’t even notice another horrifying moment happened in the movie.  
Without hesitation, San grabbed one of Seonghwa’s hands and positioned their arms on the armrest. The older looked at him with confusion but he didn’t mind and got his eyes back on the film.

San wasn’t able to focus on the movie because of the fact that he had the audacity to hold his crush’s hand and that his crush kept squeezing his hand whenever he got scared. 

 

“I fucking hate you Yeo.” Seonghwa exclaimed as soon as they got out. 

Yeosang snorted. “Fuck you, I know you loved it.”

Yeosang really says Seonghwa loved it when he literally had his eyes shut throughout. San just laughed as the brothers bickered. 

The three of them continued, going in and out of a variety of stores. Seonghwa and San just watched Yeosang impulsively buy things, that Seonghwa says would become give aways in the household during family holidays. San seeing all Yeosang, realises how wealthy the family of the brothers is. They didn’t have much worry when purchasing stuff, even treating him. He vaguely remembers Yeosang telling him that he doesn’t live in the dorms since his parents got him his own apartment near the university. The same probably goes to Seonghwa. 

Seonghwa suddenly stops walking at some point. San was a bit confused and was about to open his mouth to ask if everything’s okay but someone abruptly shouted out Seonghwa’s name. The older walks forwards for a bit and San’s gaze followed him, seeing an orange-haired guy approaching.

San finally remembered after a few seconds of thinking. The guy is Hongjoong. He’s a sophomore majoring in fashion design. He knew him because Hongjoong’s quite known in their department. He’s called the fashion reform prodigy because of the masterpieces he’s created from reforming clothing. He’s a respected student, admired by a lot of people in San’s batch and even by the juniors and seniors. 

“Seonghwa’s friends with Hongjoong?” San breaks the silence between him and Yeosang.

“You know Hongjoong?” Yeosang, for some reason, was staring intently at the two older males at a short distance. 

“Who wouldn’t know him? He’s famous in our department.” San looks at Hongjoong with a hint of adoration. “His works are amazing. Did you visit the fashion sketch exhibit during the preliminaries?” 

Yeosang winced. “You admire him?”

“..Yeah?” San didn’t like the way Yeosang said it but was curious. “Why?”

“Well,” Yeosang shrugged. “It makes me want to puke when I see them engaging with each other.” 

San scowled. “Did something happen that I should be aware of?”

Yeosang surveyed the red-haired’s face, with a contempt expression. He puts his arm around him. “San.”

“Hongjoong is Seonghwa’s ex.”

The words kept repeating in San’s head. They weren’t specifically hurtful but his hands went ice cold upon hearing them.

“What happened between them?” San asked in a soft trembling voice.

“Hm, I’ll message you about it later.” Yeosang whispered

“Everything chill?” Seonghwa was standing in front of them.

“Of course.” Yeosang removes his arms from San, smiling in a snarky way. “Let’s get going.”

Seonghwa had a worried face as he looked at San.

The younger snaps out of it, smiles at the older. “What’s up?”

“I don’t know, you tell me.” Seonghwa was taken aback when it seemed like San asked the question that he was supposed to say.

“Nothing.” San profusely shakes his head. He pulls on Seonghwa’s sleeves. “Everything’s fine so come on.” 

Seonghwa, however, felt suspicious.


	5. Chapter 5

San kept scrolling up and down on his messages with Yeosang last night. He thinks he acted too weird yesterday after finding out about Seonghwa’s past relationship. Yeosang knew what’s up with him but Seonghwa had no idea so he had a suspicious expression on his face for the rest of the day.

He just can’t help going back to his conversation with the younger brother.

_YS: They were a thing 2 years before going to uni._  
_YS: Seonghwa was the one who asked for the break up._  
_YS: He told Hongjoong didn’t want to continue their relationship anymore because he wanted to focus on his studies._  
_YS: The other guy was obviously hurt but he was too understanding so he didn’t insist on anything._  
_YS: They ended in good terms._

_S: Okay? They ended in good terms then why do you hate Hongjoong?_

_YS: I never said I hate him though?_  
_YS: Well, I do hate everyone except you._  
_YS: Be fucking thankful._

_S: Aw thanks._  
_S: But seriously, your reactions yesterday say otherwise._

_YS: What? Because I said I want to puke when I see them together?_  
_YS: That’s because they still had feelings for each other up until last year. It’s disgusting to see my brother being a fucking emotional mess, you know?_

_S: Oh. Is that so?_

_YS: Yeah, don’t worry. My brother has moved on so you can sleep peacefully now._  
_Good night._

 

San showed the conversation to Yunho and to Wooyoung, who was surprisingly inside their dorm room at 9 am.

“They’ve broken up, the guy you like has already moved on. What could go wrong?” Wooyoung takes a bite of his breakfast sandwich.

“Exactly.” Yunho approves of his boyfriend’s comment. “Take note. Seonghwa has moved on.”

“I’m just..scared?” San slumped on his bed.

“Scared of what exa—“ Yunho covers Wooyoung’s mouth before he could finish.

“San, does this have to do with what happened between you and the guy who shall not be named before?” His best friend stares intently at him.

“It’s the exact same situation!” San frantically stands up. “How am I supposed to stay calm about it?”

“Wait did that guy, who shall not be named, like you but wasn’t able to move on from a past relationship and chose the other party over you?” Wooyoung speaks up after forcibly removing Yunho’s hand.

“You know what Wooyoung—“

“Yeah.” San answers the dark-haired before Yunho did.

Wooyoung mouths a little ‘oh’ and apologetically looks at him and Yunho.

“It’s fine Woo, it’s not that deep of a secret.” San assures the other.

“I made you remember something painful.” Wooyoung explains with his eyes hinting the feeling of guilt.

“It’s fine.”

Their room went silent. Each of them, thinking of something. The silence only breaks when a phone started ringing. It was San’s.

He quickly went to get his phone which he left near his pillows. His eyes widened when he saw the caller ID. He took a deep breath before swiping right to answer the call.

“Hey.” The voice on the other line sounded a bit unenthusiastic.

“Hi Seonghwa.” San notices Yunho and Wooyoung’s jaws dropped at the same time. “What’s up?” He turns away from his friends to concentrate on what the older would be telling him.

“Well, I don’t know which floor you live in so—“

“What?! Are you in the lobby? What are you do— I'm going to hang up but I'm coming down.” San hurriedly presses end call, slips on a hoodie and some decent pants.

“He’s downstairs?!” Yunho exclaims. “Why the hell?”

“I don’t know either! Stay put and don’t you dare try to eavesdrop or anything.” San quickly leaves the room and he’s thankful enough that the lift is already there when he pressed on the down button.

Upon arriving in the lobby, he sees Seonghwa sitting on the lounge sofa. He had his head down so he didn’t notice San walking up to him.

“Seonghwa what are you doing here on a Sunday morning?” San questions the older who instantly stands up and hugs him.

San froze, yet again. There was really something about Seonghwa’s hug that made him feel secured. Yet this time, his embrace had another feeling to it.

The blond lets him go after a good 5 seconds. He looked sullen. “I hate myself.”

The response made San’s heart hurt. He doesn’t think he’s actually prepared to hear the reason. “Why?”

“I want to punch myself..” Seonghwa bowed his down again.

“No.” San takes a hold of the other’s hands even before he does anything.

“I hate how much..” Seonghwa mutters.

San just stands there, waiting for the blond to complete his thought. He didn’t want to rush him, considering the state he’s currently in.

“Why.. why do I keep on missing you?” Seonghwa directly gazes at him with his big round eyes.

“What..” San says in confusion. “What the hell are you even talking about?” His confused expression gradually turns into a laugh.

“It’s not funny.” Seonghwa frowned at him.

“Okay? Did you come here just because you missed me?” San had a smug smile. The older straightens up, his mood changes as well.

“Of course not. I came here to ask you to have breakfast with me.” Seonghwa glances at something behind San. “And I think we’ll have some more friends with us.”

San turns his head to see what he was talking about. Yunho and Wooyoung were trying to hide themselves along the walls of the lift. He gave the two a lopsided smile and gestured for them to completely come out now because they seemed like idiots on the sidelines.

 

“You’re an architecture major? Cool.” Wooyoung speaks. He stuffs his mouth with waffles.

“Jesus Woo, slow down.” Yunho wipes off crumbs on his lips with some tissue.

Seonghwa gives the dark-haired male a friendly smile. “How about you?”

Wooyoung answers after he swallows up the big bite he took. “Composition studies.”

“Oh, you’re from the music department? That’s way cooler.” Seonghwa was evidently amazed.

“Thank you.” Wooyoung once again, takes a large bite.

“Didn’t you eat a breakfast sandwich earlier?” San asks as he watches the other eat.

“Let the man eat San.” Seonghwa comments. Yunho laughed at the remark of the blond male.

“Right, sorry.” San got a little embarrassed but chuckled eventually. He takes a bite of his pancakes too.

“What urged you to go over to our dormitory?” Yunho starts his query. San almost choked on his food. “You could have simply messaged the little demon.”

“I’ll be honest, I don’t even remember heading off.” Seonghwa laughs at himself.

“Wow, you’re whipped.” Wooyoung utters.

Seonghwa’s eyes widens and Yunho notices it.

“I swear to god Woo, I’m this close to hitting you.” Yunho shakes his head in distress.

“Whipped for what?” San stops slicing his pancake midway.

The three males looked at him with varying expressions on their faces. Wooyoung loudly laughs afterwards, Seonghwa looks away and Yunho just drops his fork back on the plate. San awkwardly smiles at the reactions.  
He honestly didn’t understand a thing. Is it because he’s too dense like what Yeosang said about him? He knows he’s missing something and he tried asking politely but they just ignored him and changed the topic like nothing happened. 

What exactly was Seonghwa whipped for?

 

Yunho and Wooyoung went ahead after having breakfast. San wanted to talk to Seonghwa more and good thing the two knuckleheads didn’t resist from leaving them alone.

“Seonghwa, tell me.” San glances up the older while they were walking side by side. “Why did you come over to the dorm? I know there’s a real reason behind it. Just be honest with me.”

The blond doesn’t look at him but still answers. “You didn’t tell me what was up between you and Yeosang yesterday so why would I tell you what’s up with me?”

“Wha— that was nothing.”

“Didn’t seem like nothing.” Seonghwa didn’t seem to find his answer satisfying.

“Okay, don’t change the topic now. Just tell me your reason—“

Seonghwa forcibly grabs on the neckline of his hoodie, pulling him closer. Their faces were only a few inches away.

“Don’t tell me to be honest if you’re not being honest yourself.” The older releases him and turns his face away. His ears and cheeks noticeably became bright red.

“Yeosang told me Hongjoong’s your ex.” San stood his ground, not letting the blond know that he got flustered. “He also told me how and why you broke up.”

Seonghwa looks into his eyes. He seemed quite pissed but San wasn’t sure of it.

“Don’t be mad at him. I was the one who’s persistent on knowing all about it.” San adds.

The blond looks down and bites his lips. He took momentary silence of the older to repeat his question.

“So, what were you thinking and you decided to go over our d—“

“Why did you want to know?” Seonghwa cuts him off.

“Oh for Christ’s sake..” San scratched his nape. “I was simply curious as to how you were acquainted with Hongjoong, a person I admire.”

“You admire him?” That very question. Freaking deja vu.

“He’s famous in the art department, he’s talented, okay?” San was getting annoyed. “Could you answer my question now?”

“I did not expect you to have this level of obliviousness.” Seonghwa gave him a subtle answer and it irritated him more.

“Please give me a more direct answer, my brain is not up for this.” San threw a little tantrum. "It's too early."

“No, not yet. I won’t do it here, not today.” Seonghwa refuses. Instead, he walks away from San to avoid his question. He walks away real fast.

“What do you mean not yet? And not here, not today? You’re confusing me!” San runs to follow Seonghwa. “Hwa!”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's no Seonghwa in this chapter because I focused on another relationship. I think there's a need for a proper build-up before officially showing heavy angst. 
> 
> Anyways, you might find this one a bit boring but *whispers* it's important.

“Good morning.” Yeosang greets as he quietly sits down beside San.

“Morning!” San happily greets back. He slides a large cup of latte over to Yeosang’s side. This surprised the pink-haired.

Yeosang looks at it. “Got one for me?” 

“I had to do something at the cafe early in the morning so I thought I’ll get some drinks too.” San smiles at his friend. Yeosang smiles as well, it’s a small smile but he takes this as a big appreciation.

“Yup, you’re the only person ever.” Yeosang takes the cup and sips. He brings out a notebook and a pen to get ready for their first class.

San drinks from his green tea, with a satisfied smile.

 

San wanders around the hallway of his building. He didn’t have a class until 1 pm and the first one finished at 11 pm so he’s just going to wait for another 2 hours. Yeosang attended his second class of the day, grumpily. He was too close to cutting but San insisted him to attend. There were some other students in the hallway, he isn’t sure if they were 1st years too but he doubts. 1st years always have the fullest schedules.

Of course, San is too shy to talk to anyone, especially that they’re older. The only higher year he was able to talk, despite not knowing at first, was Seonghwa. He isn’t here though, sadly. 

He continues wending his way, eating the sandwich he bought from the cafe earlier as his lunch. The higher years, thankfully, ignore him often. There were some who look at him, a few smiling but there were also who glared. He didn’t mind though, he was just walking around anyway. 

The building is big, it had 7 floors and he’s only gone up until 4th. San takes this time to visit the other floors.

As he walks along the 5th floor, he immediately notices a familiar face.  
It was Hongjoong. The fashion design department’s prodigy. He shyly walks past the upperclassman but unexpectedly, he hears his name.

“You’re San right?” It was Hongjoong. There were some other people, probably his friends.

San pauses. “Yes?”

“I saw you with Seonghwa the other day.” Hongjoong smiled at him. “I asked him if it was really you.”

San stares at the older. He’s not sure what to react. 

“You know me?” 

“Of course! Weren’t you the one who took care of the documentation the past events of our department?” Hongjoong states. “Your pictures were all amazing!” The older’s friends made little compliments too which filled San’s heart.

“Thank you! I’ll continue working hard.” He bows to show his gratitude. “I’m surprised you took notice of them though.”

“Hard work isn’t difficult to notice.” Hongjoong smiles once again, with a more genuine one. 

 

This is the guy Seonghwa dated before— talented, charming, friendly, appreciative, smart. Hongjoong’s on that category of being the ‘high standard’ that people look for. If he was Seonghwa, he wouldn’t have broken up with such a person. 

Why would Seonghwa break up with him anyway? He wanted to focus on his studies but they both seem to be doing fine academically.   
Would there have been a difference if they continued the relationship? 

San’s thoughts caused him to space out. He’s now sitting on one of the stone benches outside his building. He didn’t think about it much before but now, it bothers him. A guy like Seonghwa should be with a guy like Hongjoong, and he is, as he thinks, not even close to how Hongjoong is as a person. 

“Yo.” A voice disrupts his thoughts.

San sees Yeosang was looking down at him. “Hi.”

“Did something happen? You were awfully spacing out.” Yeosang sits down beside him. “We still have an hour before the next class and I’m not in the mood to have lunch so tell me all of it.”

“I met Hongjoong, he initiated a conversation with me.” San starts.

“He knows you?” Yeosang says with intrigue.

“He noticed my shots of the past events. He complimented me, big time.” San continues. “Is he really that kind?”

“Hongjoong’s a great guy. Not as great as you but you get me.” Yeosang manages to sneak in a compliment and this made San snort.

“Seriously. Why would Seonghwa even break up with him?” San said with a hint of frustration. “Breaking up just to focus on your studies? That’s bullshit. If you really love a person, you will work hard on your studies while also working hard to keep the relationship.”

“Maybe that’s it.” 

“What’s it?” San turns to the pink-haired, scowling.

“He fell out of love.” Yeosang indifferently responses. 

This hit San. The words hit him with a fair amount of pain. He forgot falling out of love is a thing. 

“Why didn’t he say that as his reason though?” He got downhearted.

“Maybe he did. Maybe the story he told me about wasn’t the full one.” Yeosang defends his brother which was obviously new to his ears. “You trust your assumptions too quick, it’s scary.”

“Well, yeah. I guess I did.” San calms down. “Sorry. Sorry, Seonghwa.”

Yeosang looks at the red-haired with a what the fuck face. “Idiot.”

“I’m clearing up my conscience, shut up.” San glared back at him. “What time is it anyway? Is it almost 2?”

“You only spent 15 minutes ranting. Too short for my entertainment.” Yeosang shakes his head in disappointment. “Boring.”

San raises an eyebrow. “I’m not into hating people as much as you do.”

“I know, you’re too kind compared to me.” He stands up. “Let’s wait in the classroom, the wind keeps blowing and I fucking hate it.” 

The two of them go to their final class of the day. It starts at 2 pm and ends at 5 pm. Yeosang hates this subject the most, Art History. San can’t say he loves it as much as he loves Perspective but it at least interests him. It’s filled with long lectures, it’s quite an overflow of knowledge but as he likes writing down things, San doesn’t mind it at all. On the other hand, Yeosang just closes his notebook after 30 minutes and makes it a pillow instead. 

It’s been evident that Yeosang easily gets bored. He either sleeps, eats in class or sketches a whole lot of animation drafts. The only class which he doesn’t get bored in was Techniques. San won’t lie though, he’s kind of amazed whenever he stops to look at his ‘permanent’ seatmate. Yeosang draws better than him, a lot better. It’s given since he’s probably won’t take up animation if he sucked but his works are nothing like what San has seen in the past years. His quick sketches look like final outputs, his final outputs look like the ones you would display in an art museum despite it being fairly new. Yeosang is absolutely one of the best student artists he’s met or maybe even the best one. 

“Yeo, can I ask you something?” San talks as quietly as he can. He taps the pink-haired on his arm.

“You’re already asking but sure.” Yeosang sarcastically answers without lifting his head.

“What do your parents do for a living?” He asks, a bit nonchalantly.

“And why do you need to know?” This time, Yeosang lifts his head up. He exposes his sleepy eyes.

“I just thought.. Where did you get your talent? I mean you and Seonghwa are taking up majors that both deal with art so I figured maybe it runs in your family?” San explains himself. The other stares at him, still looking a bit weirded out.

Yeosang takes a breath and straightens up on his chair. “Our dad is a game programmer and our mom is an animator. And yeah, they run a company together which I will not disclose with you. Are you satisfied with the answer?” 

San’s jaw drops. It was more than he originally had in mind.  
That explains a lot. That proves his assumption that the brothers come from a wealthy family. That proves that the talent and skill in art run in their blood.

“You have an advantage then. You could easily inherit your company since you’re going to have the same profession as your mom.” San says with enthusiasm. “What about Seonghwa though? His major’s far off from what your family’s company goal is.”

“Seonghwa already learned game programming from our dad.” Yeosang answers. “Besides, it’s not that far off. He took architecture so he could concentrate on game environments and of course actual game architecture.”

“We’re going to be stuck forever, don’t worry.” He winced at the idea but assured San of their situation.

“Oh, I see.” San nods.

“I mean he could have simply gotten a program related to the game environment but he’s a dumbass who aims for the non-existent title of ‘game architect’.” Yeosang eye-rolled. “He told me he wants to have that written his business card. Sometimes, I’m not even sure who the younger brother is.”

San laughs. It’s as if it was part of Yeosang’s mere existence to expose Seonghwa’s weird antics. He didn’t mind though, it makes Seonghwa seem more lovable and real hearing all the information about him.

“How about your parents?” Yeosang suddenly speaks after a moment of silence. “It’s kind of unfair that you know my story and I don’t know yours.”

“Ah.” San reacts in surprise. He’s reluctant. He’s always reluctant to tell his story to other people. The only person who’s ever been made aware of it is Yunho and that’s because Yunho is his most trusted friend— and that they came from the same town. 

“What?” Yeosang had all his attention to San, waiting. 

“My parents are owners of a small business back in the province.” San bows his head down.

“Is that it? You’re not going to tell me anything else?” Yeosang bends down, trying to take a look at him. 

“There’s nothing much to tell.” San turns his head, to avoid Yeosang’s gaze.

Yeosang goes silent for another moment. The silence was awkward, it was awkward for San. He’s not sure how the other will take his story, his social standing. He didn’t want to let it out to people because he is afraid, he’s afraid that people will judge him just like when he was in elementary. 

“You know,” Yeosang gently puts his hand over San’s shoulder. “We go to the same university.”

San turns back to his friend with a hint of confusion in his eyes.

“There’s no point in judging you. I mean, we got in the same reputable university.” Yeosang explains, seeing how the red-haired’s expression changed. “Actually you’re doing a lot better than I am, being exceptionally good in your craft, getting straight 4s, having everyone see you as a great person. I’m not sure because you haven’t confirmed it but I have a feeling you even got in here as a scholar.”

“Diligence runs in your family.”

Tears are starting to form in San’s eyes. The last time he heard such words was when he met Yunho. It meant a lot to him, the assurance that he won’t get the same treatment as when he was younger. He’s already 20 years old but trauma just got to him so much that it made him ashamed of bringing up his background.

“Thank you.” San tries to hold back his tears. He remembered that they’re currently in class, crying is not an option right now.

To his surprise, Yeosang gives him a hug. It wasn’t a full one since they were sitting but he felt the genuineness. The pink-haired male then rested his head on San’s shoulder. At this point, he was ready to burst into tears but he’s aware it would make a scene. Instead, he just puts his hand over Yeosang’s head to make him feel that he appreciates what he’s doing. They stayed in that position for so long that he didn’t notice Yeosang has already drifted off to sleep once again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was supposed to post Chapter 7 sometime on the first two weeks of August but I will be hella busy so I might forget about it-- thus, I decided to post it alongside Chapter 6.

Yunho just ended his morning shift in the cafe and now he’s waving over to Wooyoung who’s happily striding towards him. 

The idiot, his idiot keeps insisting on picking him up from his part-time work even though his building is far from the cafe. Wooyoung calls it his mini work out for his legs since he’s always sitting, taking so many hours of experimenting with music. Yunho knows how much Wooyoung hates being in one place for so long so he never argues with him whenever the shorter male wants to take extensive walks. 

There isn’t any boring moment with Wooyoung, like he never runs out of anything to say. This helps Yunho, as a literature major. He, himself can’t believe that having a talkative boyfriend would help him do the weekly writings that a lot of his professors require them to do. 

As they make their way to the university, Yunho recognises a ‘friend’ from a distance. He nudges Wooyoung and tells him he’ll be greeting someone along the way. Wooyoung was slightly perplexed but he nodded.

“Fluffy head!” Yunho waves merrily.

The pink-haired glared at him but stopped in front of him anyway. “Hello San’s giant friend.” 

“Giant friend?” Wooyoung snorts. 

“My name’s Yunho.” He smiled. He holds up his other hand which was holding Wooyoung’s. “This is Wooyoung.” 

Yeosang stares at the interlocked fingers and mouths a little ‘Oh’. 

“You’re not with San today?” Yunho starts up a conversation.

“We don’t have classes together on Thursdays.” Yeosang answers with an evident cheerlessness in his voice. Yunho took notice of it and seemingly had a hunch of some sort.

“Do you have anything to do right now?” Yunho questions, with a plan in mind.

“Uh, not really. I was just going to get a latte.” Yeosang shrugs his shoulders. Yunho gives him a smug smile.

“Okay, we’ll get your latter together and have a little chat.” Yunho grabs Yeosang by the arm and pulls him to walk. The pink-haired glares at him but tags along. Wooyoung, on the other hand, wasn’t even minding what was happening.

 

San just had his first class and he went out for an hour-long break. As soon as he steps out of his building, he saw Seonghwa waiting on one of the stone benches on the other side. He rushes towards the blond.

“Sorry to keep you waiting.” San says as he got near. “You messaged me that you needed something? What is it?”

“It’s okay, didn’t wait that long.” Seonghwa brings out something from his pocket. They were two coupons to the expensive all-day breakfast place just outside their university. “I need you to eat with me.”

San chuckles. “Isn’t there anyone else you could have invited? “

Seonghwa pouts at this remark. “Don’t you want to eat with me?”

“Nah, I would actually love to.” San pinches Seonghwa’s cheeks and the older squalls.

“Why did you even ask if there’s anyone I could have invited?” The older continued to whine. He was gently touching his cheeks to ease the pain the red-haired gave him.

“Because you always ask me. I’m pretty sure you have lots of friends to eat with.” San responses. For some reason, Seonghwa’s cheeks turned quite pink. He has been witnessing Seonghwa blushing for days now and he still gets all confused. 

“That’s because—“ The sophomore stared at San with slightly widened eyes. “—they always turn me down. They tell me to get a someone else.” His voice was trembling a bit but the younger didn’t seem to have noticed it.

“Oh. What nice friends you have.” San sarcastically reacts. “I only have an hour to eat so maybe we could go now?” 

“Yeah, sure. No problem at all.” Seonghwa stands up at once and begins to move.

 

“You buy your latte and we’ll wait here.” Yunho says as he takes a place and sits. He gestures to Wooyoung to sit beside him.

“Okay?” Yeosang can’t deny he’s a bit muddled by how Yunho was acting. He shakes his head and goes to the counter. He just wants this to be over.

As he waits in line, he glances over to the pair. They were conversing with each other and they seem to not be paying attention to their surroundings. He could simply ditch them but San would know about it.

San would definitely know about it.  
He’ll ask and he’s going to have to lie.  
Yeosang doesn’t want to lie though.  
He’s mean but he doesn’t lie.  
He doesn’t and will not ever.  
Most especially to San.

As soon as he gets his drink, he goes back to their table. Yeosang sits a little nervously in front of Yunho. He wonders what would the tall male want to chat about.

“So what’s up?” Wooyoung speaks up. “Why did we return here? Are you going to skip your class, Yunho?”

Yeosang would want to know as well.

“Stupid, there’s still an hour left before my class starts.” Yunho responses to Wooyoung before he turns to Yeosang. 

“Tell me all about it.”

“What?” Yeosang leans in a bit. There was a noisy group next to them so it was understandable for him not to hear.

“Tell me all about it.” Yunho repeats.

“Tell you all about what exactly?” The pink-haired’s eyebrows creased.

“Tell me all about your feelings for San.” 

Wooyoung widens his eyes and his jaw drops a little as well. Yeosang, meanwhile, has maintained his composure. Yunho isn’t surprised about Yeosang’s lack of reaction. He figured he was the kind of person who’s good at staying calm.

“I don’t have feelings for him.” Yeosang sips from his latte.

“Bullshit.” Yunho says with a straight face.

“Is this what we’re going to chat about? If it is, I’m leaving.” The shorter male answers with annoyance.

“You think I wouldn’t notice? San stays in the cafe on Monday mornings because he doesn’t have class at 9 am til 11 am. And maybe, coincidentally, you prolong your time here whenever he’s in but you’ll leave quickly when he’s not.” Yunho has his arms crossed his chest. “You did that last semester. And well now, since you’re already friends with him, you’re probably so happy that you can easily reach San.” 

Yeosang stayed put. He isn’t saying anything at all, he just stared at Yunho.

“Does it hurt knowing he likes your older brother?” Yunho added. 

Yeosang licks his lower lip and bites it. His heart started pounding so hard and it’s becoming hard for him to breathe.

As the tension between the two rises up, Wooyoung kept shifting his gaze from his boyfriend to the pink-haired. He felt he was only there to spectate but he’s itching to give a side feedback. When he was about to speak, Yeosang beat him to it.

“It does hurt but I can’t really do anything about it.” 

“Why didn’t you tell him earlier? If you already liked him last semester, why didn’t you try?” Wooyoung was the one to throw the questions out. Yunho didn’t butt in, meaning he asked the right ones.

“Because I’m a denial piece of shit and now I regret it?” Yeosang speaks in frustration.

“So you will never tell him? Like ever?” Wooyoung stresses on his words like he wanted Yeosang to regret it more.

“There’s no point in telling him.” Yeosang squints in annoyance. It’s true. His feelings won’t get to San since he likes someone already. It’s painful but he is to blame for his own pain.

“You see no point in telling him because you know deep down, you’re hoping for a happy ending.” Yunho speaks up. Yeosang has never heard the tall male speak in such a serious tone. “You think the point of confessing is earning the ending you’re wishing for but the truth is, the point is sometimes letting the other person know you like them just to make them realise that someone is actually there for them, without question.”

“You know that San likes your brother so you’re only thinking of your loss.”

“Why? Would I gain anything from telling him? And wouldn’t that bother San?” Yeosang was mildly getting angry. No, no to Yunho nor Wooyoung. He’s getting angry at himself. 

“Unspoken feelings can become a burden in the long run. It’ll be easier if you confess. Trust me, I know.” Yunho responses. “If San gets bothered by it, leave him to me. What’s important now is your final decision.”

 

“You really do like green tea, huh? Ordering matcha-flavoured dessert and still having green tea as your drink, do you still have blood or is it green tea flowing in your veins?” Seonghwa fondly watches San devour his matcha cake roll.

“I haven’t checked.” San says, with his mouth full. This made Seonghwa laugh. San loves hearing the older’s laugh the most. There’s something about it that makes him feel happy as well.

“Can I have a taste?” The blond asks him with unintentional puppy eyes. He didn’t need to do the puppy eye trick since it comes out naturally because of his eye shape.

“Sure.” San complies. He takes a piece with his fork and reaches it out to Seonghwa. The older then eats it rather adorably, he thinks.

San watches Seonghwa as he seemed to like the taste.

“Do you like it?” San smiles, his dimples popping out.

“I like you.” Seonghwa looks at him directly.

“No.” He flat out answered.

Seonghwa frowns at the response. 

“Don’t say it if you don’t mean it.” San finishes his dessert. He might have rushed a bit too much because he almost choked but he didn’t want to make it awkward between them. He has to change the subject. “Anyway, what time is your next class?”

“I still have an hour left. I often have two-hour breaks.” Seonghwa responses quickly. 

“Well, there’s only 20 minutes left for me so I have to go.” San says as he looked at the time on his phone.

“Ah yeah, I’ll go back with you.” Seonghwa stands up, gets his things. “Walk slowly, it’s not like it’ll take us the whole 20 minutes to get back to the uni.”

“Don’t worry, I ate so much to even be able to walk fast.” 

Both of them leave the restaurant, laughing.  
It’s a bit sunny today, the clouds being too thin to cover up the bright lights. It isn’t San’s ideal weather but he’s not minding it at all. He had all his attention to Seonghwa, who waited outside his building just to invite him to eat out. San has been wondering, what makes Seonghwa do all these? They’re not the closest of friends yet the blond doesn’t seem to have a problem hanging out with him. 

As they arrived in front of San’s building, Seonghwa suddenly pulls him by the sleeves. He stops and turns to face the taller male.

Seonghwa, like when he went over to the dormitories, had his head down. 

“What is it?” San questions. He remembers that he only has a few minutes left before his class begins. This has to end fast.

“What if I told you..” Seonghwa lifts his head up. “I meant it?”

“What?” San widens his eyes, confused and surprised at the same time.

“I don’t want you to think I say things that I don’t mean,” Seonghwa explains himself. “So even if this is not how I planned to do it, I’m doing it.”

Seonghwa pulls San’s sleeve some more and steps a bit closer to the red-haired. With no hesitation, he plants a kiss on the other’s lips.

“I like you San.”

San stares at him, failing to process everything that just happened. 

“I like you more and more every day. I won’t be surprised if I’ll fall in love with you which I’m sure would happen soon at this point.” 

Seonghwa lets go of San and gives him a small pat on the head before walking away.

San stood there as if he was stuck on the ground and could not move. A lot of people passed by him already and he’s sure he’s already late for his next class. But he couldn’t believe what he heard, he couldn’t believe what he felt on his lips. 

He could not believe anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I will be publishing another fanfic, it's yunwoo-centric. It will be out by Saturday (August 3)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi babies! I've decided not to update until the semester was over so now that it's HOLIDAY season, I'm now back on writing! It's been so long since the last chapter and that's why I'll be posting 2-3 chapters until I go back to uni again.
> 
> Thank you for waiting! I appreciate everything, really! I saw that there were comments that I didn't get to reply to, I'm sorry about that! I'll try better next time.

“You’ve come home a bit late. It’s unusual.” Seonghwa greets his younger brother as he adjusts his glasses. It was a rare sight to encounter since he rarely wears them even if he needs to.

“I’m not used to you wearing those, you look like dad.” Yeosang winces.

Seonghwa lets out a chuckle. “I’m better-looking.”

“You really disgust me.” The younger brother flops into his bed and stares at the ceiling. “I’ve been emotionally drained so I stayed out to take some shots of soju.”

“Oh wow? Someone as hard as stone got emotionally drained?” Seonghwa turns his chair around to face the pink-haired. “I need details.”

“It’s none of your business.” Yeosang takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. He isn’t going to tell his older brother about it. He doesn’t plan to, especially because Seonghwa’s connected to the reason.

“Alright, I’ll share my business then maybe you could share yours.” Yeosang notices that the blond stands up and walks towards him.

“Hwa, I don’t care about—“

“I confessed to San.” Seonghwa sits on his bed.

Yeosang remained silent.

“I didn’t give him time to respond though. I mean, I can’t ask him to since he needed to go to his class.” Seonghwa continued on. “I got impulsive and told him all about it.”

“At least you were able to tell him.” Yeosang’s voice was almost muffled. He covered his face with one of his pillows before answering to his brother. He felt like crying on the spot. He isn’t sure if the alcohol is hitting him in some way or he’s simply in pain right now.

“Are you okay?” Seonghwa looks down on Yeosang. He tries to pull away the pillow from his brother’s face but Yeosang only tightens his grip.

“..Yeo. Tell me.”

“I can’t.” Seonghwa could barely hear Yeosang but he felt the discomfort in his voice. 

“You haven’t had any problems with telling me your emotional conflicts before. What makes this one so difficult to share?” Seonghwa mildly pulls on the pillow, not to force Yeosang but to somehow comfort him.

“How do people confess their feelings? Why is it so hard for me to do?” Yeosang sits up and slowly moves the pillow, uncovering only his eyes. He tries looking at his older brother despite the tears starting to flow out.

Seonghwa felt awful as he sees the state of his younger brother. He didn’t know the younger had it this heavy. Yeosang isn’t the type who cries over trivial things so Seonghwa knows this isn’t something he could take lightly. Yeosang is deeply hurt and he needs help.

“I hate how in denial I am. I hate how I just allow things to slip out of my grasp and regret it afterwards. I’m so fucking stupid.” Yeosang wishes he had done it sooner. He wishes he wouldn’t have to cry in front of the very person who’s blocking his way. 

He wishes he could have San.

Seonghwa doesn’t say anything and just goes in to hug his brother. Yeosang, on the other hand, sobs out his frustration. He doesn’t like that it’s Seonghwa who’s comforting him at the moment but at the same time, he’s also in need of his older brother’s hug. It’s contradicting but it’s not like he has someone else to turn to.

 

  
“Earth to San.” Yunho snaps his fingers right in front of his best friend’s face. He’s been working on an essay for the past two hours and he observed that San was either walking in circles or spacing out on his bed the whole time.

“Oh, sorry.” The red-haired shakes his head with the intention of getting his mind back on track.

“What’s wrong with you? You’re acting so weird. You’re already weird but this is a different kind of weird.” Yunho stops typing. He needs to pass the essay online by midnight but he just can’t ignore San.

“Seonghwa..” San says softly. “He..”

“What? What’d he do?” Yunho isn’t in a mood to wait. He has undergone enough bullshit today and he isn’t sure if he can still take in some more.

“He told me he likes me.”

Yunho closes his laptop, sets it aside and sits beside San. “He what?”

“Seonghwa told me he likes me. He likes me more and more everyday that he wouldn’t be surprised if he falls for me soon.” San side glances at the seagreen-haired. “…That’s what he said yesterday.”

Yunho mouths a big wow and smiles widely. “What did you say?”

“I wasn’t able to say anything. He left me frozen on my feet in front of my building—“ San turns to Yunho, looking directly at him with great amounts of excitement. “He even kissed me here before confessing.” He points at his left cheek.

“San!! When? When will you tell him that you like him back?!” Yunho playfully hits his thighs. “Thank god he told you already because I’ve been wanting to punch you for the past week.” 

“I don’t know how to even face him!” San exclaims. “And what do you mean? Why would you punch me? I breathed?”

“Dumbass, you’re too oblivious, really. How can you not think that Seonghwa likes you after all those sudden dates you’ve had? And from the start, if I remember it correctly, he said the best morning so far when he first met you in the cafe. How can you miss all the hints Satan?!” Yunho got carried away and didn’t realise he’s almost shouting. He didn’t mind getting scolded by the RA, all he wanted is to hit his best friend with the facts.

“I thought those were friendly gestures?” San tilted his head. 

“All of those had romantic intentions, idiot.” Yunho flicks the other’s forehead and San just shrieks in pain. “Respond to him now!”

“It’s night time Yunho.” San answers with teary eyes. The forehead flick dealt some real damage on him.

“So?” The taller boy insists. “You can message him or better yet, call him? It’s not like he’s 8 and goes to sleep early.”

“No, he’s probably busy. I don’t want to disturb him!” San strongly declines. “Besides, I want to tell him about my feelings personally. He did it in person so I should be able to do it in person as well.”

Yunho whines. “Just be boyfriends already.”

“Boyfriends..” The red-haired spaces out again.

“Imagine having Seonghwa as your boyfriend.” Yunho teases. “Lucky bitch is going to have a popular sophomore, what the heck.” 

“Wait, he’s popular?!” San widens his eyes. “How did I not know?”

“Seriously? How dense can you be?” Yunho glowers at him. “With that face?  Personality? Some group from one of my classes squealed when I said I’m friends with the guy. They happened to see us eat breakfast last time so they’ve been wanting to know.”

“San, I’m from the literature department. My building is far from his and people still know who Seonghwa is. Think about that.” 

“What in the world?” San couldn’t believe what he heard. “I’m surprised none of his admirers has attacked me yet.” 

“Maybe his admirers are civil or maybe you simply don’t notice the glares being given to you.” Yunho shrugs. The latter might have been the case.

“But I still can’t believe it.” San looks down, concentrating on his hands that are ice cold at the moment. “What made him like me? I mean, I’m not even on a Hongjoong level.”

“Do you want me to flick your forehead again?” Yunho readies his hand. “Stop comparing yourself to Hongjoong. It’s like you’re questioning Seonghwa’s feelings.”

“I’m not questioning his feelings!” San shakes his head. “I’m curious though.”

“Then ask him.” Yunho stands up to get his laptop. He continues working on his best friend’s bed. “He’s probably more than willing to answer that. But don’t consider it done if he says ‘because you’re San’. Demand specifications because you’re insecure ass needs it.”

“Okay, noted.” San slightly laughs. 

 

  
“Good morning.” San said in a soft voice. He quietly sits on his usual place.

“Morning.” Yeosang greeted back but he avoided eye contact with the red-haired.

“It’s a bit cold, isn’t it?” San is wearing a red turtle neck sweater and a black denim jacket under a padded coat he just took off a while ago. He isn’t one who could easily withstand the cold so he makes sure to come prepared.

“Yeah.” Yeosang lightly nods. “It’s my first time seeing you put on an outfit with effort.”

“Hey! I put effort in my regular fits.” San furrows his eyebrows.

“Right, slipping on a black or white shirt, black pants and an old pair of Vans screams effort.” Yeosang rolls his eyes.

“I could easily wear nothing you know.” San laughs as Yeosang’s face immediately formed a traumatised expression. “I’m joking!”

The pink-haired gritted his teeth in disgust but shrugs it off not long after.

“Are you going to meet someone today? Because earlier, I witnessed someone wear provocative clothes.” 

“What do you mean provocative?” San instinctively embraces himself.

Yeosang looks at him, placing his own hand on his chest. “Unbuttoned.”

“Yeo…” San brings his arms down. “Isn’t that normal for Seonghwa?”

“How’d you know it’s Seonghwa?” Yeosang teasingly gave San a small smirk.

“Do you see someone else in the morning other than your older brother?” San raises a brow and gives back the smirk.

Yeosang was taken aback due to the unexpected come back of the other. “No.” His heart started beating fast and he hates how it did.

San pats him on the back and chuckles. This only made the pink-haired feel worse than ever. 

“And no, not yet. I’m not meeting him. I’m still too nervous to. I don’t know if I could face him normally.” San nervously smiles. “I don’t do well with stuff like this because of my past experience. But please don’t ask about that, I don’t want to talk about it now. It’ll only make my fear swallow me up.”

Yeosang stared at San who had his head down. He wants to hug him so bad, he even wants to kiss him. He clenched his fist— frustrated to do something for the guy he likes but his heart aches so much. 

_How he wished he was the guy San liked._

Yeosang decided to give light pats on San’s head. “You can make him wait, you know? If he really likes you, he’ll wait for you no matter what. And besides, my brother? If he’s whipped, he’s whipped. I’m sure he won’t rush you.”

San looks straight at the pink-haired, smiling a little. His words were somehow comforting. He trusts Yeosang a lot even though they haven’t been friends for a long time. He trusts him to the point he could probably tell anything and everything to him— even his deepest secrets. It’s as if there was a special connection between them. 

San nods. “Thank you. You’ll definitely hear my insecure ass say negative things in the next few days so you’ll have to endure it until I’ve gathered enough courage to face Seonghwa.”

“It’s fine.” Yeosang immediately answers. “I’m always here for you.”

The red-haired puffed his cheeks, on the verge of crying. He moved forward, suddenly giving Yeosang a hug. This surprised the other. Unable to conceal what he truly feels, his cheeks went red. 

“I love you.” San whispered. 

“Yeah, love you too.” Yeosang’s voice slightly trembled as he knew this was the other kind of I love you. 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

Yeosang takes a deep breath in front of his apartment— their apartment. He has never wished to have the place all to himself before but he’s now in an awkward situation where he does, not because he’s mad— it’s because he isn’t sure how to act properly towards his brother anymore.

He unlocks the door, slowly opening it. He notices the lights are on, indicating Seonghwa is already there, keeping himself busy probably. Yeosang continues inside, greeted by his brother’s figure who is currently sitting in front of his desk, seemingly working on a plate. He quietly goes over to his part of the room, hoping his brother wouldn’t mind him— which is impossible to happen.

“Good evening. Have you eaten?” Seonghwa greets, back against his younger brother since he’s working. 

“I had a light snack on the way here.” Yeosang places his things on his desk, making little sounds. “I’m not that hungry so please don’t nag me to eat more.”

“You keep losing weight Yeo. How can I not nag you?” Seonghwa rotates his chair to face his younger brother who is obviously trying to avoid his gaze. “Hey.”

“What?” Yeosang allows himself to fall onto his bed. He doesn’t know if he’s just physically tired or if it’s something else.

“Eat.” The blond crosses his legs as to act more dominating than the pink-haired who’s really stubborn to start with. “Do you want me pull you up from bed and force you to go out again?”

Yeosang rolls his eyes. “I said I’m not hungry.”

“You said you’re not that hungry. There’s a difference.” Seonghwa emphasises. “Yeosang, please.”

The younger turns to his side, not looking at the blond’s direction. This surely pissed the shit out of him because Yeosang hears him standing from his chair. 

“Fine.” Seonghwa’s voice is evidently annoyed. “I’ll buy you food myself.” He goes over to his closet and puts on a jacket. “You better eat what I’ll get for you.”

Yeosang hears the door opening and then the doorknob getting locked.

He groans as he shifts to lie on his back. “Fucking angel.” 

Yeosang sees his brother as an angel— not a literal one but he’s just too nice. There was never a time when Seonghwa ignored him and let him do whatever. He may be strict, like their dad but he understands pretty well why. He hates how he sees the reason San would fall for his older brother. Between the two of them, Seonghwa is obviously the more charming one, the more caring one. There isn’t a day when he failed to ask Yeosang how his day went. There isn’t a day when he failed to make sure everything is okay. Sometimes, he wishes he grew up as kind, as thoughtful, smart, hardworking as Seonghwa. 

Yeosang clearly remembers the day when his older brother defended him from everyone, literally. Back in high school, Yeosang was known to have this certain personality issue or so they say. He’s a person who doesn’t socialise with others— not that he hates people— he just doesn’t know how. He tries to befriend his classmates but he fails every time. His words always comes out too harsh and unfriendly. Eventually, he was seen as antagonistic by his class. Yeosang absolutely has no idea why they started thinking that way— calling him a prick for hating every single person. He couldn’t speak up for himself and no one stood by his side. He has always been alone but at that time, it hurts to be alone. This spread to the whole batch and gradually went up to the higher years.  When Seonghwa learned about it, he was enraged. Yeosang tried to persuade him not to do anything about it but as a protective older brother, he actually went to the extent of talking in front of Yeosang’s class. That time, Seonghwa was one of the big influencers in school and was part of the council— he had the power to tell people what was needed. And because his older brother was a popular student, his classmates straightened their shit up and treated Yeosang with more consideration— which was actual bullshit because they only did that since they’re brothers. But he did like it, Yeosang liked how he lived through the rest of his high school years in peace— despite still being alone most of the time.

Seonghwa has helped him a lot and is still helping him until now. He feels almost guilty for being a stubborn brother when in fact he actually cares about Seonghwa tells him. Yeosang keeps all his older brother’s words inside his mind, using it as a little guide to avoid getting into trouble and what not. He’s thankful to have a brother like him. It may not look like it but Yeosang does— he loves Seonghwa so much he wouldn’t ask for anything more.

Yeosang gets snapped back to reality when he hears the doorknob being turned. He sits up and watches Seonghwa go inside. He has a bag of food in hand. 

“I got you a spicy chicken meal and strawberry milk tea.” The blond is beaming as he hands the bag to the pink-haired.

“This strawberry milk tea…” Yeosang stares at the label. “You went to see San.”

Seonghwa just hums. He looked stupidly happy. 

“Thanks, you fucking flirt.” 

“Hey!” Seonghwa exclaims but laughs afterward anyway. “It feels nice seeing him in the middle of a busy and stressful night. Though, it wasn’t him who took my order. I think he’s still fazed by my confession.”

“It’s always nice to see San.” Yeosang says as he opens up the meal box. “He makes everything seem pleasant.”

“Yeah, especially his smile. His smile could bring the sunrise back up.” The blond returns to his desk, drinking his own cup of tea. 

“Hearing his voice and little laugh could brighten up your day immediately,” Yeosang adds. “Even when he’s complaining over a plate, it’ll still make your heart full.”

There was a sudden silence in the whole apartment. The sound of the clock resonates in the room— and it seemed to heighten the tension.

“Yeosa—“

“No.” Yeosang looks up from his food to his brother whose eyebrows are slightly furrowed. “I don’t want to hear those words from you. I don’t want you to ask. I don’t want you to even think about it.”

“How can I not think about it? Are you being for real right now? Do you even hear yourself?” Seonghwa leans forward and breathes quite heavily. “We need to talk about this.”

“Fuck— Seonghwa. Don’t. We don’t need to.” Yeosang raises his voice. “Please.”

“Yeosang, I swear— This is definitely something we need to talk about.” The blond is about to stand up but was taken aback when his younger brother took a sharp breath. 

“For fucking once, don’t ask or tell me anything!” Yeosang fights back. “Please. I don’t need some fucking advice from you or whatever you want to say. No. Just leave me alone right now.” 

Seonghwa remained on his seat, quietly observing the expression on the pink-haired’s face. It took him a minute or two before turning around. He inhales deeply. 

Yeosang, on the other hand, goes back to eating. “You deserve San more than I do.” 

 

 

“Hello, red riding hood. Can I get a taro latte?”

Upon hearing the weird nickname, San slowly faces the customer in front of the counter. It’s his best friend’s boyfriend apparently.

“Thank you for the lovely nickname Wooyoung.” 

“Sure thing!” Wooyoung grins at San. _Man, the boy could leave the sun jobless with how bright his smile is._ “Make the drink large, okay?”

San nods at this and takes the payment. He gives the receipt to the other guy on shift tonight who proceeds to prepare the drink. 

There was no one else by the counter, only the dark-haired boy. It was busy an hour ago, students continuously going to the cafe but now it died down and they’re all just here doing whatever they have due this week or maybe even tomorrow. San can’t say if he’s in the best mood. He’s been anxious ever since Seonghwa confessed to him. He really wants to give him a response but he isn’t too sure how to. He became more anxious when the blond went in minutes ago. San was relieved when the other barista took his order instead of him.

“I’m going to stay up late.” Wooyoung suddenly speaks. “Yunho messaged me he doesn’t have anything to do so I asked him to sleep early.”

“Yeah, he messaged me asking if I had my keys with me because he’s going to sleep ahead. Good thing I didn’t leave it or I would have ruined his supposed beauty sleep tonight.” San responded. “Is your drink a takeaway or you’ll have it here?”

“I’ll have it here. My friend is arrived here earlier. The one who ordered the weird mixed tea drink? I don’t know if you’re the one who took that.” Wooyoung pointed at the guy wearing a beanie by the corner. 

San chuckled. “I’m the one who took that. It isn’t that weird though. I’ve been asked to do weirder ones.”

“Is that a normal thing? Ordering weird drinks at night?” The dark-haired noticed the other barista walking towards the counter so he moves to get his drink.

“Apparently it is. I think they do the mix based on what wakes their soul up at night.” San shrugs. “Enjoy your drink. I hope you finish whatever project you have.”

“Thank you!” Wooyoung smiles sweetly and heads back to his friend’s table.

“You seem awfully quiet this evening.” The taller barista comments. “I’m assuming you didn’t get enough sleep because of plates?”

“Ah yeah, definitely plates.” San gives out a little laugh. The guy is a junior architecture student and an acquaintance of Seonghwa’s— judging from how they talked for a while when he was here. He’s kind and a man of few words. He’s also the one who taught San about making the weird mixed drinks. 

“I’ll take my break, alright?” The other barista says as he unties his apron then leaves through the back door.

San quietly stands there, patiently waiting for other customers to come in. He spaces out eventually, still thinking about how he’ll reply to the guy he likes. It’s really a new thing for him, requited feelings. San wants to do it properly— his confession to Seonghwa. He wants to do it like how he did, with courage and confidence. He needs to organise his thoughts well.

 

San’s shift comes to an end. Before leaving, he scans the last remaining customers inside the cafe. His eyes catches Wooyoung. He’s alone now but he’s already packing his things. San takes this chance.

“Wooyoung!” He calls out to him, still in his uniform. “Could you spare me a minute?”

“Sure!” The dark-haired responded enthusiastically. “I was able to finish my project earlier than expected. It’s actually a miracle.”

“Oh, I’m glad to hear that.” San is quite impressed by the fast work. He wishes he could be that fast in doing plates.

“You should change first. I could wait for you outside. I don’t mind at all.” Wooyoung eyes the apron of the other and notices the cute cat embroidery. He slightly smirks at it.

“I’ll be quick then!” San dashes back to the staff room.

The red-haired hurriedly changes into his casual clothes. He needed to ask Wooyoung one important question. He’s in dire need of help right now and he thinks his best friend’s boyfriend would be a person who could answer it.

As soon as he got out to the storefront, San sees Wooyoung, eyes on his phone. “Hey.”

“‘Sup?” Wooyoung immediately slides his phone inside his pocket to focus on his friend. 

“I wanted to ask you something. It’s literally just one question.” San shivers. It’s extra cold today, good thing he wore his padded jacket.

“What is it?” The dark-haired rubs his hands together. He isn’t exactly wearing something that’s appropriate for the unusually cold weather so he is definitely feeling the freezing air.

“How did you confess to Yunho?” 

Wooyoung stares for a second then laughs. “Is this for Seonghwa?”

San chokes on air which made Wooyoung laugh even more. “So it is for him?”

“…Because I wanted to give him a response properly.” San responses shyly. He bites his lips due to the slight embarrassment he’s feeling.

“Ah right, Yunho told me he confessed to you.” Wooyoung takes a few seconds, probably to think about his answer. 

“It’s good to ask him first why he likes you then you’ll do the same. You’ll tell him you like him back and then the reasons why. Just be honest. Honest words are more wonderful to hear. It doesn’t matter if you stumble over your words, as long as you honestly feel, Seonghwa will surely appreciate it. Sometimes the more unplanned it is, the better it goes. I’m basing on my experience. I literally just blurted it out to Yunho.”

“You just blurted it out? What?” San’s jaw drops.

“I didn’t know Yunho likes me back so I already prepared myself for rejection but well, as you can see now…” Wooyoung shrugs his shoulders and smiles. “Don’t worry about it too much. He already told you his side. To be frank, he’s supposed to be the one feeling anxious about this whole thing.”

San gains confidence hearing those words. 

 

_Seonghwa, better prepare himself._

 

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

“Good morning, what can I get you…?” Yunho grimaced seeing the pink-haired by the counter. “You look terrible, utterly terrible.”

“I just didn’t get enough sleep. You’re exaggerating.” Yeosang scowled. “Black coffee please.” 

“Not enough sleep? You sure? I’ve seen San go about sleepless countless times but I’ve never seen him look that… atrocious.” Yunho took the cash Yeosang held out in his hand on the counter and kept glancing back the other’s face. He didn’t say any more words and just went on to brew a cup of black. 

The pink-haired’s expression is different than his usual serious face. He also didn’t have his normal sarcastic tone— it felt like he’s too affected by something to act like himself. 

Yunho gently placed the cup in front of Yeosang but didn’t let go of it. “Hey, do you want to talk about it? My shift’s ending in a few minutes and Wooyoung is already over there, claiming a table to himself. You could join him if you want.” 

Yeosang didn’t say anything, took his cup with little force to get it out of Yunho’s grip and turned away. Yunho thought it’s a way of him saying no yet to his surprise, the boy walked towards the table where Wooyoung is and seemed to have taken a seat there. 

There is definitely something wrong. 

Yeosang stared blankly at the freshly brewed cup of coffee as soon as he settled himself on the chair. It isn’t his usual order— he loves sweet things and a cup of black absolutely isn’t one of those. 

“What’s up?” Wooyoung is looking at him while sipping from his taro milk tea. “You look like you’ve been through hell. Are you okay?”

The words of the dark-haired guy resonated in Yeosang’s mind. Tears started forming in his eyes, making everything blurry to him. He isn’t okay and he will never be okay— in a long time. Despite the tears flowing down his cheeks, he nodded as a response to the other.

Wooyoung shallowly sighs and stands up. He transfers to the seat right beside the pink-haired and wrapped his arms around him. He could hear the little sniffles his friend is making which he tried to cover by placing Yeosang to lean on his chest instead of his shoulder. The last thing a crying person would want is to be heard by people he doesn’t know. 

“It’s alright, cry as much as you want.” Wooyoung takes a look around the cafe to check if someone is trying to stick their nose into his friend’s breakdown. Fortunately, everyone seemed to be minding their own stuff. 

Yeosang hates how he couldn’t control his emotions. It’s not like him to burst into tears in front of someone else. It’s always just him, crying by himself. The warmth from another person is somehow more comforting than the warmth of his blanket. He’s so fucked up right now he wishes Wooyoung doesn’t let him go.

“I’m sorry.” Yeosang said in a soft voice. “I’m so sorry.”

“I thought I could take it. I thought it isn’t too deep. I thought it’s shallow to cry over a boy, it’s shallow to cry over love. I thought I’ve grown strong enough to handle everything on my own and that I don’t need anyone to rely on. But now look at me, I can’t even stop thinking.. What if I told him how I felt way before? What if I had the courage to confess? Would everything be different right now?... Or am I really going to end up like this one way or another?” 

Yeosang’s low voice trembled horribly as he tried to let out his thoughts.

“I’m so sorry.”

Wooyoung only held Yeosang more closely. He knew the guy wasn’t apologising to anyone— he’s apologising to himself. He’s in deep regret that he didn’t tell San about his feelings— that he didn’t do anything. Yeosang chose to bury his feelings rather than expressing it and it’s now backfiring. Wooyoung knows the pink-haired isn’t the expressive type and he understands there are people who fear letting their feelings lose would destroy what they have. He can’t relate as he is the opposite of Yeosang so all he can do is give him the comfort he needs to be able to get back up again.

The dark-haired notices someone approaching the table. He immediately knew it’s his boyfriend. Yunho has a worried look on his face. The taller sits down across them and silently mouths San’s name in a question form. Wooyoung simply nods. Yunho reaches out his hand to caress Yeosang’s shoulder which is shaking as he continued to cry.

  
“Don’t you have classes to attend to?” Yeosang quavers. 

Yunho and Wooyoung took the pink-haired out of the cafe, choosing one of the public spaces inside their campus— it’s class hours so there are barely students outside. They let Yeosang sit down on the stone bench, Yunho sitting beside him and Wooyoung remained standing. 

“Yeah but we can’t leave you like this.” Yunho gently slides his fingers through Yeosang’s hair, in an attempt to somehow lessen how messy it is.

“Don’t insist us to leave or I’ll hit you with anything I get my hands on.” Wooyoung puts his arms across his chest which Yunho finds oddly adorable. 

The seagreen-haired notices the little smile that formed on Yeosang’s lips after hearing his boyfriend’s remark. He feels relieved that somehow, the fluffy head still has the means to show a hint of happiness. 

“I take it that your final decision is to not tell San.” Yunho doesn’t take his eyes off Yeosang, wanting to see if the other would burst into tears again if he starts talking.

“There’s nothing more important to me than seeing him happy. If I told him, I’ll just be in the way. It’s okay for me to feel like this as long as he’s happy and besides…” Yeosang smiled but his eyes say otherwise. “Seonghwa makes him the happiest.”

“That’s not a final decision.”

Both Yunho and Yeosang turned their heads up to Wooyoung. He looked furious. 

“You should never sacrifice your own happiness for someone else.” The dark-haired boy says in a serious tone. “Sure you feel frustrated, you feel like shit right now. It’s normal to feel that way. That’s how a heartbreak goes.”

The two on the bench remain quiet.

“But don’t say it’s okay for you feel like that. It’s not. You need to do something for your own sake too.” Wooyoung adds. “San may be the most beautiful thing that has happened to you at the moment yet don’t let that be the reason for you to block out everything else out there.”

“The question is, will you choose to move forward or will you choose to stay and hurt yourself even more?”

Yunho nods before facing Yeosang.

“How do you move forward? I’ve invested more than I’ve planned so I don’t know what to do.” Yeosang felt an ache. He grew the urge to cry again but for some reason, he’s able to control it this time.

“That’s easy. You have us for that.” Wooyoung places his hand over Yunho’s shoulder and holds up his thumb. Yeosang looks at him with evident confusion. “You do know we consider you as a friend, right? The problem that remains is that if you consider us as your friends as well.”

The pink-haired consecutively shifts his gaze on the two. “I’m not good at making friends. I thought only San viewed me as one.” 

Wooyoung and Yunho faced each other then laughed loudly. Yeosang raises an eyebrow at the two. 

“You’re cute,” Yunho’s eyes disappeared into narrow lines because of how much he’s smiling. “Like a baby.” 

“We’re here for you Yeosang.” The taller male adds with a big grin on his face.

 

  
Seonghwa continues to play with his pen while staring at the board. His professor is writing all sorts of things about building designs and he couldn’t concentrate. His mind keeps replaying his misunderstanding with his younger brother last night. 

He couldn’t respond to what Yeosang last said to him. As much as he wants to be happy with San, the thought of hurting his brother is more painful to see than not ending up with the guy he likes. Seonghwa has always put Yeosang’s well-being before his own. He doesn’t mind if the younger doesn’t acknowledge that or whatever, what’s important to him is that Yeosang is and will always be okay. 

He has been talked to about it by his friends— why he would do even the extremes for his brother. They think he’s not supposed to be like that but he disagrees. As a matter of fact, he got a bad reputation among the teachers back when he was in high school. Seonghwa protected his brother from the majority of the students. He stood in front of the student body just to tell them not to say negative things about Yeosang and that they should be more considerate. It was well-received by the students but the teachers viewed it as embarrassing, selfish as they described it. Seonghwa called them pricks inside his head. The consequence befell on him when it was his last year in high school. The teachers no longer recommended him to run for the council that year so he basically got banned from joining. However, he didn’t care— he just didn’t care as long as Yeosang will benefit from what he did, what he does and will do in the long run. 

Seonghwa bows his head down and he sees his empty notebook. He hasn’t been taking notes since the start of the period. He simply wants to go home and talk to Yeosang. He wants everything to be alright for his younger brother, he’ll do anything if it’s necessary — even if it means losing something. Seonghwa hopes when he comes home later, Yeosang will be open to a conversation. If he won’t be, he doesn’t know how else to deal with it. 

The bell rings, startling the blond. He gets up from his seat quickly. It’s his lunch break. Seonghwa isn’t in the mood to join his group of friends today. They’re probably just there in their usual hang-out place but he doesn’t want to go there. He has so much going on in his head that if he joins, he’ll weirdly space out of the blue and his friends would ask him about it. Seonghwa typically shares his problems with his friends but he deems this too personal for them to know. He goes out of the building, alone. It was a bit crowded since most students take the noon break when choosing their schedules. Seonghwa heads to one of the university gates. He plans to get food from the outside stores. As he does though, he sees the familiar red hair. He was expecting a lock of wavy pink-hair would be next to it but he didn’t see one. He knows too well it’s San and instinctively, he strides to get near him.

Seonghwa calls out to San to which the shorter male immediately freezes on the spot. Shit. He forgot the fact that he confessed and made things quite awkward. 

“Hi.” San greets him in a soft voice. 

“Hello.” He scans the red-haired’s face. He’s beautiful as he is each day.   
“Sorry, I’ll make this quick. Do you know where Yeosang is?”

Seonghwa had a thought— _would Yeosang avoid San as well?_

“Yeah, I’m going to where he is. He messaged me earlier.” San innocently answers him. “Do you want to come with me? Wooyoung and Yunho are there too.”

The blond nods— not because he wanted to come, it’s because it seems everything is fine with the two. His younger brother didn’t seem to have given San the cold shoulder— which Seonghwa is quite happy about.

“I still have things to do so I won’t be coming.” He replies. “I was simply asking if you knew where he is since he isn’t with you at the moment.” 

The red-haired is evidently confused but accepts his answer anyway. The two of them waved goodbye. Seonghwa stands still as he watches San slowly disappear from his line of sight. _Maybe it wasn’t right for him to confess, maybe it wasn’t a good idea, maybe he should have talked to Yeosang more about what was making him feel uncomfortable the past week— maybe he should just tell San to forget about the confession, pretend like it didn’t happen._ The thoughts made him feel sick. He should have thought everything through before acting on anything.

Seonghwa goes back to the university campus, _he was way too exhausted to eat._

 

 

 

 

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

Several hours passed and Yeosang still couldn’t think of the proper words to say to his brother. He acted harshly last night and listening to Wooyoung and Yunho earlier made him realise he needs to clear up everything. He tells himself he wants Seonghwa and San to be happy but his choice of words towards his older brother didn’t seem like he wishes them the best.

He lies still on his bed. Yeosang didn’t go to any of his classes today. San even scolded him for it but he laughed it off— saying that he’s just too lazy and isn’t feeling it. He’s currently waiting for Seonghwa to come home— growing impatient by the minute because the older is taking his time. It’s 8 in the evening and he knows his brother should have been home 30 minutes earlier. He only wishes Seonghwa visited San in the cafe or something. That could reassure him everything is going well between the two. He’s hoping that he won’t be the reason for an uncomfortable situation.

Yeosang gets startled by the sound of the unlocking doorknob. He was about to fall asleep that moment. In a few seconds, his older brother’s face shows up. He looked— ordinary. He wasn’t beaming. Seonghwa puts down his file case, a paper bag and a dual cup holder with two cups of red tea. He immediately takes out a meal box and gets one of the drinks. 

“For you.” He said in a weakened voice.

Yeosang stands up and grabs both items from his brother. He quickly moves to his desk, places the food but he doesn’t sit there yet. Instead, he walks back to his older brother and embraced him. 

“Wha—“

“I’m sorry.”

Seonghwa stays silent.

“I’m sorry I acted like a prick. It’s definitely something to talk about.” Yeosang let goes and steps backward a little. “But I don’t want you to give up on San just because you think it would hurt me. You deserve him. San deserves you. And I’m not a little kid who can’t handle a little pain. For once, don’t think about me. Think about yourself, your own happiness. Think about San who’s so fucking happy with you. You don’t know how much his eyes shine whenever he talks about you. If you’re doubting your chances, please don’t.”

“I love you both so much that I would hate myself if you don’t end up together. I swear Seonghwa, I would shave your head.”

His older brother bursts into laughter. In fact, he laughs so hard that he fell to his knees.

“Please don’t shave my head.”

“Oh, I will if you don’t marry him and raise little versions of you two together.”

“Okay, you’re so far off. I’m still struggling with my math so please don’t make me solve how to raise kids.”

“Fine but promise me that I’ll be the godfather.” 

“Yeosang, please.”

Yeosang mocks Seonghwa by making faces at him. He doesn’t insist on anything though and just goes to eat on his table. 

“Seriously though. Will you be fine?”

“I will be.” He answers without looking.

“Sure?” 

“I told you, I’m not a little kid.” Yeosang stuffs his mouth with a whole piece of chicken nugget. “Besides, I have friends to help me get through it.”

“You have friends?”

“Hey, fuck you.”

“I didn’t mean it that way, sorry.” Seonghwa chuckles. “You know I just want the best for you.”

“I know that really well.” Yeosang turns his swivel chair around. “But I also want that for you.”

“That’s a first.”

“What?” Yeosang watches tears flow down Seonghwa’s cheeks. He’s dumbfounded by the sight.

“Well, your words were I love you both but that’s a first I’ve ever heard you say that.” Seonghwa wipes his eyes with his sleeves. “Just eat. Don’t mind me, I’m just being dramatic.”

“As a grown-ass man, you’re adorable.” 

“Finish your meal.” Seonghwa turns his back against Yeosang, still wiping his tears off. His shoulders slightly shake.

“Of course I love you. You’re the best older brother one could ever wish for.” The pink-haired spins back to continue eating. He hears the blond sob and he couldn’t stop himself from smiling.

It’s true. Seonghwa is the best brother one could wish for. Yeosang has always wanted to tell him that but he isn’t the type to say those stuff. Even he wanted to, he’ll fail. If he was good at communicating what he truly thinks and feels, Seonghwa wouldn’t do all those drastic measures in the past. Yeosang has been wishing he had as much courage as his older brother, as much resilience, patience and kindness. Now, he thinks that he shouldn’t just be wishing. He should work on his own and try harder. As he said earlier, he’s not a little kid anymore. He has to prove that to himself.

 

 

“Is he going to be okay?” Wooyoung squeezes Yunho’s hand as they walk down the busy street. It’s night but the students are out for some drinks or whatever. It’s not new for them in the university.

“You still seem really worried. It’s been hours since we settled that.” Yunho looks at the smaller boy.

Wooyoung glances up at him. “Well, he’s going to endure seeing his older brother and the person he likes the most together.”

“He won’t be okay.” Yunho flat out responded. “But he made his final decision already. He seems determined about it even if it means getting hurt.”

“Ah, the stupid things you do for love.” Wooyoung has a worried expression on his face. “I hope he could find someone else.”

“That’ll take time but will happen, eventually.” Yunho smiles gently at Wooyoung. 

He is worried for Yeosang. For the next few days or weeks, the pink-haired will have to go through all sorts of level of emotional suffering. But Yunho can’t help him with it. He is San’s best friend so of course, he’ll prioritise San’s happiness. Yet at the same time, he doesn’t think Yeosang deserves to experience a rather painful way of moving on.

“I did promise him we’ll be there for him.” Wooyoung breaks his boyfriend’s line of thought. “We’ll be his friends, shoulders to cry on.”

“Yes you did.” Yunho nodded. “It’s so sweet of you to tell him that.”

“I guess we’ll have to do our best to cheer him up. What does Yeosang like anyway?”

“Chicken and sweet drinks?” Yunho answers back a question. “I absolutely have no idea what he likes. I barely talked to him as a friend, just as a love advisor.”

“Is that what you’re going to put on your calling card?” Wooyoung cracks up.

“No. I’ll put Wooyoung’s boyfriend on it.”

Yunho smirks at the smaller guy whose cheeks are noticeably red beneath the changing colours of the lights of a diner’s storefront.

“So,” Wooyoung averts his eyes. “It’s a job?”

“Yeah and I’m the only one who’s good at it.” 

“You are the one who got chosen.”

“You chose well.” Yunho stands confidently and nods proudly.

Wooyoung pulls the taller boy down by the collar. His face is as red as a beet but he tried his best to look serious. There’s approximately an inch between their faces. Some people passing by couldn’t help but glance at them but they both ignored them anyway.

“You are mine and mine only.” He says sternly.

Yunho leans in, putting their lips together. The start was sloppy but it felt wonderful under the bright moon and twinkling stars. Wooyoung cups his boyfriend’s face with his cold, small hands— deepening their kiss. They mutually break it off as soon as they realised they were in public and the people in the diner next to them are having quite a view. They both catch their breaths. 

“I’m all yours.” Yunho utters which makes both of them smile widely.

 

 

San stares blankly at the cream wall of his dormitory. He’s sitting on his bed, unknowingly rotating the lens of his camera. He’s supposed to return it neatly inside the bag but he ended up spacing out again. _Confess to Seonghwa. Confess to Seonghwa. Tell him you feel the same._ The words keep repeating themselves inside his head. He was practicing his indoor shots a while ago to keep himself busy but the batteries are now drained and he has to charge them up. San has developed a little disliking towards idle time. Doing nothing makes him overthink everything and it honestly makes him feel sick in the stomach. He takes multiple deep breaths to calm himself down. He deserves this— he thinks. He deserves to be happy with someone he’s in love with.

It’s been so long since that incident he had with some certain asshole. He was as sweet as Seonghwa, as caring, kind. He took San on multiple dates too. At first, San couldn’t believe anything since they were just high schoolers. But lo and behold, his hopeless romantic high school self fell for what turned out to be a trap. The whole thing traumatised him and he swore to himself he won’t fall in love ever again. Yet, here he is— contemplating on how to reply to a confession. San’s guts is telling him that this time, it’s different, that he’ll get the outcome he wishes for. He should forget about the painful memory and move forward, taking the risk again. 

San slaps himself to bring him back to reality. He, then, stands up, fixes his camera back in its cotton home. He glances at the adapter— still blinking small orange lights. He has to wait longer for the batteries to fully charge. He places his camera bag on his table and grabs the well-printed poster next to it. Earlier today, his professor asked him to participate in a regional photography contest. Freshmen are rarely invited to join by the professors so San was surprised he was chosen. The theme for the first string is indoor photography with a concept of ‘happiness and certainty’. The deadline of submission is on Saturday but he hasn’t decided on what story he would like to present to the judges. Now, he’s nervous for two different reasons.

“My San-shine!” Yunho swings open the door.

“You almost gave me a heart attack! What in the world—“

“Sorry. I’m a bit too enthusiastic right now.” Yunho’s laughter could be heard in the entire room. “I’m surprised you didn’t hear me unlocking the door, though. Oh my god, what would you do if that wasn’t me?”

“Uh, to begin with, they wouldn’t let a stranger in.”

“Yeah, what if one of the residents here is a criminal in disguise?” 

“Okay, okay. Don’t lecture me on this. I’m just not myself today. Sorry.” San lets out a sigh.

“Clearly.” Yunho flops down on his bed. “Tell me all about it, my love.”

“Two reasons but you already know the first one.”

“No, I don’t.” Yunho tries to lift his head up but San only sees half of his face.

“Seonghwa.”

“Oh. The second?”

“I was chosen to participate in a regional contest. The submission should be indoor shots that show happiness and certainty.” San carelessly sits on his bed, nearly losing balance. “I have no idea what to shoot and the deadline is already this Saturday. It’s killing me. If it wasn’t for the cash prize, I wouldn’t have agreed to this. Photography takes time!”

“That’s easy. Take photos of Seonghwa and you’re good.” Yunho casually says.

“What? Seonghwa?”

“Tell me, what makes you smile? What makes you feel safe, free from fear?

“Shit.” San runs his fingers through his hair rather aggressively, disheveling it. He curls into a tiny ball on his bed. “Fuck.”

“Hey, that’s enough cursing my son. Get up.” Yunho gently pulls him up to sit straight. The seagreen-haired takes the space beside him. “Tell him how you feel already.”

“I’m a coward.” San pouted.

“You’re San. Don’t dishonour the pretty name your dad gave you.”

“I’m San.”

“Good. Now say, I’m in love with Seonghwa.”

San abruptly turns to Yunho with widened eyes.

“Just say it, there’s no one here but me. Come on.”

“…I’m in love with Seonghwa.”

“There you go. Turn that into a first-person statement and you’ll do great. Don’t think much about it, honestly. Just say what’s really on your mind. If he really likes you, he has to love that side of you.” Yunho finger-combs San’s messy red hair.

“Tomorrow. I’m going to do it tomorrow.” 

“Oh? I like that sudden change of heart.”

San nods firmly-- reassuring his best friend.  
_He can do it, right?_


End file.
